How Many Pages Should Your Notice of Supplemental Authority Be?

 Maybe I'm one of those old fart lawyers Brian Tannebaum is always writing about, but I was taught that a notice of supplemental authority should be a one-page document listing the new case, with at most one line or two explaining its relevance.

It shouldn't be an opportunity to engage in another set of briefing that renders the federal rules superfluous.

But we all know lawyers who can't resist using the new case to reargue points already made in the briefs, and who go way overboard -- causing you a moral dilemma:  should you respond in kind?  Move to strike?  Turn the other cheek and ignore the sharp practice?  Hope the judge does something sua sponte?

Case in point:

This supplemental authority is fairly restrained, though you could argue it goes a paragraph too far.

But like the old Cold War doctrine of MAD, an overwhelming and devastating response was inevitable.

And here it is -- three full pages of responsive argument.

Not willing to leave well enough alone, here is the "reply" in support of the notice of supplemental authority -- four(!) more pages of pure argument.

Aren't there page limits in briefs for a reason?

New Way to Represent Client: Send Tweet to Miami Herald!

All you social media quasi-lawyer types Tannebaum is always talking about, take note:  here is the intersection of law and Twitter, revealed:

An attorney representing the former University of Miami Hurricanes safety said Tuesday night that he plans to file an injunction later this week to reinstate Armstrong to the Hurricanes football team.

The Orlando-based attorney, Matt Morgan, sent a tweet to The Miami Herald on Tuesday, saying, "We do not agree with the way they have handled Ray Ray. A very talented athlete's career is at stake.'' 

Although my research is not yet complete, I'm pretty sure "Matt Morgan" is not the popular wrestler with a large Twitter following from Lake Mary, FL.

Actually, he is this guy -- hold on, Matt the Orlando lawyer has 2043 2044 followers!

(That may be more than the Herald nowadays).

Matt also has this great quote on his bio page:

The moral arc of the universe bends at the elbow of justice.
- Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Not bad, but I prefer this:

 

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/08/08/2938965/attorney-ray-ray-armstrong-plans.html#storylink=cpy

FL Bar Report: Some Lawyers Are Old and Others Have Major Problems.

 The Intrepid One™ reports on the results of a FL Bar commission, empaneled in the wake of the Rothstein debacle, which found -- surprise(!) -- that some lawyers are up to no good:

"Cases like The Florida Bar v. Scott W. Rothstein or the myriad of cases involving mortgage fraud, loan modifications and foreclosure fraud illustrate a changing profession and the need for a lawyer regulation system able to adapt to such cases," stated the report. "Additionally, these types of cases demonstrate a need to provide information to the public about the steps that The Bar already has taken, currently is taking and is planning to take to handle these cases in order to continue to ensure public confidence."

Zzzzzz.

Was the writing of this report outsourced to the Miami Herald editorial board?

There's gotta be something more substantive in there:

But Miami attorney Brian Tannebaum, who frequently represents lawyers under investigation by The Bar, criticized the report as overly focused on public relations.

"The report says to me, 'the Scott Rothstein debacle hurt The Bar. How do we convince the public that we care?' " he said. "The Florida Bar has become more of a consumer protection agency than an agency designed to regulate lawyers."

Probably true but hey, what's wrong with that -- we could use a nice PR agency.

Then there's this:

 "There are many instances where some lawyers work past their point of effectiveness to a period of life where they develop mental and physical problems," stated the report. "This can lead a lawyer who has had a stellar career to lose his or her reputation, practice and resources during the twilight years of his or her career."

Ok, you've just described every senior partner I've ever worked for.

Plus down here nobody ever really loses their reputation -- we've given them too many awards and honors for that.

Code Red Code Red -- App Does Away with "Briefcase," "Office" and "Lawyer"!

Where's Brian Tannebaum when you need him:

They started with an iPad app, LegalFile, which is already on the market. “It’s essentially a virtual office to enable lawyers to practice without absorbing the cost of a secretary or a filing clerk,” said Kuznetsova, the 24-year-old president and CEO of Miami-based Esenem, the parent company of LegalFileIt. “This app replaces a traditional briefcase. It’s your calendar keeper and it provides startup forms in all different areas of law.” 

If you don't need a secretary, filing clerk, briefcase, or office, maybe you don't need an attorney either:

There are plenty of lawyers out there who are willing to represent you if you find yourself either being sued or having to sue someone. But do you really need a lawyer?

Gary Zeidwig doesn’t think so, at least not all the time. Zeidwig, an award-winning lawyer, reveals that there are some cases where an individual can move forward pro se, (for oneself) that is, advocating without an attorney and defending or fighting for their rights on their own behalf, and that it’s not only acceptable but relatively safe to do so.

But who needs to buy a whole book to learn you don't need a lawyer?

There's probably an app for that.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/06/2784090/case-closed-mobility-rules-in.html#storylink=cpy

Spencer Aronfeld Speaks At #LTNY!

Ok, I admit to being blissfully ignorant of #LTNY 2012.

Best I can tell, it's the type of convention you can get your law firm to send you to after they reject your request to go to the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas.

And maybe it's just me, but if I'm in New York I can think of literally ten thousand things I would rather be doing than listening to vendors pitch high-tech doohickeys intended to "optimize" my practice.

(I better stop before this turns into a Tannebaum-esqe rant).

But hey, I don't "get" food trucks or sliders or sliders from food trucks either.

Different strokes etc.

So let's just roll tape:

I actually watched this with the sound off, so I have no idea what's being said -- but I love the pinstripes, like the strategic use of the smart phone, the product placement of the two books is unobtrusive and organic -- I'm giving it an A-.

Monday Morning Round Up.

Hi kids, let's see what is happening on this beautiful Monday.

1.  Brian Tannebaum is officially one of the most important people*

*on Twitter!

**and he's mad about it!!

2.  Local LGBT law students unite:

"I have been working with lesbian and gay law students from all four Southeast Florida law schools (UM, FIU, Nova, St. Thomas) to create a unique regional organization. The organization is called Unified Students (“US”) and our goal is to organize students who want to get involved in LGBT related pro bono work. Some projects we would like to work on include (i) conducting a legal clinic under the supervision of attorneys to help LGBT families with estate planning that will hold up under Florida state laws, (ii) creating an internet data base to connect students wanting to do volunteer research for LGBT related pro bono cases with attorneys looking for research on those kinds of cases, and (iii) attempting to change policies of homeless shelters that exclude transgendered people."

These are terrible goals -- doesn't anyone want to bomb Iran?

3.  Aww, how cute:  Terrell Owens sues GT.

And how was your weekend?

Say Hello to the New Head of the PSC!

 Wow what a weekend.

A lot going on today -- first, the Tannebaum Express cogently explains why Judge Gold was right and the 11th Circuit was wrong wrong wrong in reversing the sanctions order David O obtained on behalf of Dr. Shaygan.

Note to social marketers -- amazingly, this intelligent piece of legal advocacy does not once mention the words "iPad"; "social media"; "cloud computing"; or "Joseph Rakofsky."

Next --the attorney currently in Judge Seitz' cross-hairs explains herself here, and Robert Kain explains himself here.

OK, once more, but only to appease the many requests:

Finally, Rick Scott has appointed Miami attorney Braulio Baez to head the PSC:

Baez, an attorney for a private law firm, has a law degree from Nova Southeastern University in Fort Lauderdale. He was a commissioner until January 2006 and a chief policy aide for a commissioner before that. He worked for the Akerman Senterfitt law firm for less than a year with clients that included companies in the energy and telecommunications and water industries. He spent nearly four years before that at Holland & Knight law firm where, among other things, he shaped strategies for a Fortune 500 electric utility.

He was fined a $1,170 in 2007 for allegedly accepting gifts from regulated companies during a 2002 utility conference in Miami when he was a commissioner.

That's what troubled Graham, who said he's concerned about "the big battle we're going to have to fight to having to justify a decision like this."

The PSC has been criticized in the past few years for its ties to utilities.

Now why in the world would anyone say that?

UPDATE -- On top of everything else we have to worry about, now the Florida Supreme Court wants us to actually, you know -- gulp -- be nice to each other:

To opposing parties and their counsel, I pledge fairness, integrity, and civility, not only in court, but also in all written and oral communications;

 Change starts one email at a time.

SFL Friday -- I Like Exactly HALF This Picture!

Dang does Frank dress up nice!

I'm so pissed at Blogger for eating my posts and making me have to focus today almost exclusively on (1) my cases; and (2) deciphering the contents of Osama's porn stash.

Nearly as interesting as what's hawt right now in Abbottabad is this genuinely amusing defamation suit filed against the Internet.

Even better, our local intertubular representative in this epic legal fiasco is none other than bashful Brian Tannebaum.

Given the heavy hitters comprising the "Rakofsky 74" I am quite certain they will be ably represented, either by themselves or by that fabulous Coral Gables restaurateur Marc Randazzao.

This is the legal equivalent of Charlie Sheen -- someone needs to stop the train before it runs off the cliff.

(Let's see when -- or if -- Blogger posts this.)

Hyderabad Continues To Employ Many People.

And at least three hundred are personally assigned to assisting David Joffe craft the very best press release possible.

Here is the powerful opening paragraph:

People running helter-skelter to find the best criminal attorney in Fort Lauderdale do not have to worry now, as David J. Joffe is an expert best criminal lawyer in Fort Lauderdale to give a strong advocacy to your case.

"Expert best" -- I assume this is somehow better than just "best."

A near-perfect introduction, but is it possible to improve on this text?

Let's see:

Advocate Joffe also has a listing in the Martindale-Hubbell Bar Register of Preeminent Lawyers making him one of the top five criminal attorneys in the US.

Top five?

Not too shabby.

I don't want to roam into Brian Tannebaum's area of expertise, and I actually like David and think he's a fine lawyer, but isn't there a way to clean this up just a little bit?

Ok, this stuff is too good, here's one more:

Moreover, you will come across many advertisements in Fort Lauderdale for hiring a criminal attorney, but it is crucial not to depend on them because for a fort lauderdale criminal attorney what counts the most is experience.

Advocate David J. Joffe makes strategies for cases keeping in mind the minimization of effects and consequences of criminal cases, so that clients can have more of their concentration in their professional and personal lives.

All these along with the experience of various cases make Advocate Joffes credentials undisputable. You can stay completely satisfied with your case once Advocate Joffe takes your case in hand.

If you have an accusation registered in any criminal litigation, then it is in your best interest to consult Advocate Joffe and Joffe and his staff will devise an effectual defense plan.

I agree -- if your choices are between an "effectual defense plan" and an "ineffectual defense plan," I would tend to opt for the former but, again, this is not my area of expertise.

Take Your Child Someplace Other Than Work Day.

Sorry for the serial posts, but this just in from an opinionated, truth-telling wine nut:

Quick Question -- Can I Incorporate All Prior Allegations Into Each Subsequent Claim for Relief?

Beetle Shotgun

Let's discuss the acceptable level of crushed "common warehouse beetle" in your average serving of Similac baby formula.

I say 14 beetles per serving is acceptable, you say 10 is just right for our little tyke.

Ain't the free market grand?

But poor plaintiff's counsel had some trouble getting his beetles out of the box, so to speak, and Judge Cohn had to explain a few things:

Here, the eight-count Amended Complaint incorporates all of the “foregoing allegations” by reference into each subsequent claim for relief. See, e.g., Amended Complaint at 13. In other words, Plaintiff has filed a shotgun complaint. See Ferrell v. Durbin, 311 Fed. App’x 253, 259 (11th Cir. 2009) (“In shotgun style pleading, the complaint incorporates all of the general factual allegations by reference into each subsequent claim for relief.”). The Eleventh Circuit “has had much to say about shotgun pleadings, none of which is favorable.” Davis v. Coca-Cola Bottling Co., 516 F.3d 955, 979 n. 54 (11th Cir. 2008) (“[S]ince 1985 we have explicitly condemned shotgun pleadings upward of fifty times.”); Strategic Income Fund, LLC v. Spear, Leeds & Kellogg Corp., 305 F.3d 1293, 1295 n.9 (11th Cir. 2002) (“This court has addressed the topic of shotgun pleadings on numerous occasions in the past, often at great length and always with great dismay.”); Byrne v. Nezhat, 261 F.3d 1075, 1131 (11th Cir. 2001) (“Shotgun pleadings, if tolerated, harm the court by impeding its ability to administer justice.”); Anderson v. D. Bd. of Trs. of Central Fla. Cmty. Coll., 77 F.3d 364, 367 (11th Cir. 1996) (“Experience teaches that, unless cases are pled clearly and precisely, issues are not joined, discovery is not controlled, the trial court’s docket becomes unmanageable, the litigants suffer, and society loses confidence in the court’s ability to administer justice.”). Consequently, the Court will dismiss Plaintiff’s Amended Complaint, in its entirety, for this reason.

This drives me insane.

I mean Brian Tannebaum-with-crappy-internet-lawyer-marketers level insane.

Is there any reason -- ever -- to do this?  Even by accident?

Personally to me it's worse than a typo, it's sort of an intentional effort to purposely look foolish.

Congrats, you've succeeded!

Centennial Symposium Recap!

I must echo Rumpy and David O -- Robert Kuntz and Tim Ravitch put together a creative, informative and highly entertaining panel discussion today on "new media" and the 24-hour news cycle.

Kudos on a job well done.

In fact, it was so hip we actually got into a Twitter fight while making our presentations, and David managed to upload camera pics of the exciting, nonstop action.

A few highlights:

1.  Rump's voice-synthesized "I am Stephen Hawking" shout out.

2.  Brian Tannebaum calling this blog "a scabrous tumor that must be violently excised from the South Florida legal community before it slowly and inexorably kills us all."

(Brian, did I quote you right?)

3.  Eddie Dominguez of the DBR on their progressive and collaborative approach to new media, bloggers, plus how they all differ.

BTW, let me repeat -- we are extremely fortunate to have the DBR as our local professional and business newspaper, you guys are the best and we depend on you daily (on the weekends, however, we're totally screwed).

4.  Kendall Coffey holding up the panel discussion to do a five-minute segment with CNN on how to finally obtain lasting peace in the Middle East.

I'm kidding!

(It was actually on how best to solve the Japanese nuclear meltdown).

Either way, this guy really knows his stuff.

Have a great weekend!

South Florida Legal Blawgers To Waste Everyone's Time on Friday!

Yes it's true, kids, a veritable murderer's row of your favorites, all ready to answer important questions about why everyone wastes their time reading these stupid things:

Ripped from the Headlines: Eleventh Judicial Circuit Honors

100th Anniversary with Symposium on Media and the Courts

* * *

            The Eleventh Judicial Circuit Centennial Committee, Joseph H. Serota, Chair, is pleased to present "Ripped from the Headlines: The Vital, Tempestuous and Changing Relationship between the Court and Media."

             Symposium Chairs Robert Kuntz and Timothy M. Ravich will present a 3-part, half-day symposium showcasing important trials throughout the history of the Miami-Dade County judiciary and focusing on what the future holds as court cases are actively covered by new and emerging media sources.

• Part I – A multi-media historical presentation by the 11th Judicial Circuit’s Court Historian Judge Scott J. Silverman. This presentation will focus on the Court’s early relationship with the press, with an emphasis on Giuseppe Zangara’s attempted assassination of President-Elect Franklin D. Roosevelt at Miami’s Bayfront Park in February 1930.

• Part II - A panel discussion of the William Lozano shooting of Clement Lloyd, Lozano’s trial and re-trial, and the evolving relationship between the media and the Court.

• Part III – A panel discussion of the role that “new media” plays in the courtroom. The discussion will include blogging, Twitter, email, cameras in the courtroom, and feeding the 24-hour news cycle.

            Featured speakers include John Hogan, Mark Seiden, Roy Black, Joseph H. Serota, Bob Levenson, Kendall Coffey, David Markus, Brian Tannenbaum -- and special "appearances" by the writers of the legal “blawgs” The Justice Building Blog and South Florida Lawyer.

            The event is scheduled for Friday, March 25, 2011 beginning at 8:30 A.M. in Room 4-2 of the Miami-Dade Courthouse, For more information visit http://circuit100.com/events/courtmedia.html

Despite our presence, I do think it is unique and will be very interesting, plus it's for a very good cause.

We are only congregating in one place due to the hard work and fine efforts of symposium co-chair Robert Kuntz, an upstanding and highly respected attorney whose reputation for quality legal work and moral character is impeccable, who really should be a sitting judge as we speak, and who runs a literate and highly entertaining blog in his own right.

Oh yeah, and also Tim Ravich.

Tim knows I'm joking, to be fair this is a guy who did something with the Dade County Bar once and also spends a lot of time thinking about planes(!).

I even have a list of topics -- tentative of course.

They include:

Rumpole on why Anglophiles are sexy and make the best lawyers plus why escalators in courthouses should work at least some of the time;

David Markus on how to attract high-quality legal talent (hint -- marry them!) plus how to get the feds to pay your client's legal bills; and

Brian Tannebaum on how to win a Twitter fight (I think it involves "clouds," "Diggs" and "Tumblring"?).

As for me, the organizers have agreed to my standard twenty-four page contract rider, which specifies certain conditions of my appearance (btw -- thank you Robert and Tim for the oversized hot tub filled with Evian and patchouli -- I believe my remarks will be much more reflective, relaxed and peaceful).

Sorry kids, but you'll have to show up to hear the rest!

Jason Turchin Has An iPhone "App"!

Have you ever wanted a "call lawyer" app on your smartphone?

Well, whether you want it or not, Jason Turchin has created one:

Fort Lauderdale Attorney Jason Turchin this week released the free My Attorney App, which enables cell phone users to put their attorney directly onto their mobile phone. The App also allows users to call their attorney’s office at the touch of a button, to submit a free case inquiry, and to upload and submit photographs taken on their iPhone.

You can download Jason's app here.

Not sure what impact the new Bar rules might have on Jason's little doohickey, I'll leave that to Tannebaum to figure out.

(Good thing the folks at the Florida Bar have no idea what we're talking about -- they're still trying to get a handle on metadata).

SFL Friday -- Free Scott Rothstein!!

Brian Tannebaum points out that there's not a single lawyer in South Florida who has stepped up to vouch for the character or personal integrity of Scott Rothstein.

Think about that.

Amid all the near-constant chatter in the South Florida legal community I've not bumped into a single judge or lawyer (let alone a client) who has said -- "hold on, let's see what the evidence is. That's not the Scotty I know."

Even Bill Scherer, who just a year ago was retaining Scott's firm to be his lawyer ("[t]hat should tell you something") is now assembling lawsuits on behalf of investors.

And this is absolutely the wrong time to be a lawyer in trouble in South Florida. Between judicial fundraisers, receptions, seminars, lunches, bar events, picnics etc. there is virtually no time to do anything other than continually meet with the same judges and lawyers and discuss -- what else -- Scott Rothstein.

When I wrote back in September about Scott's personal obsession with associate facial hair, I suspected the reason he offered for this bizarre management characteristic to be contrived and oh too convenient -- an "unnamed retired federal judge" who appeared to be a prop in some apocryphal Scott Rothstein anecdote about how obsessing over associate hair growth is a good thing:

Rothstein, who teaches law at Nova Southeastern University, recalls the first time he saw style become an issue in court.

"I'll never forget walking into the courtroom of a now-retired federal judge here in South Florida. And opposing counsel came in and the first words out of the judge's mouth were to ask the other attorney why his shoes were so scuffed and dirty. It's for reasons like that that I `politely terrorize' the lawyers in my firm.''

What the hail is he talking about? What judge could this possibly be? You're lucky to even be in front of a federal judge for a hearing, and yet this judge is going to spend that time discussing the cleanliness level of a lawyer's shoes? I suppose it's possible but it seems pretty unlikely.

Of course now everybody has pretty much concluded Scott was a serial albeit creative liar.

Oh hail I'm shutting things down and hitting the surf, kids. In honor of Scott I am bringing seventeen expensive waterproof watches, the usual surveillance equipment I always go windsurfing with, and something special -- a solid gold ankle-holstered Derringer, the kind Burl Ives wore in that great noir Western, Day of the Outlaw.

Perhaps Big Burl is where Scott got the inspiration?

(Mine is strictly for recreational use only btw -- if you use it right.)

In the meantime folks, eat lots of cupcakes but still watch your diet and get lots of rest, and put your hands on something exceptionally worthwhile -- life is too precious to waste.

Have a nice weekend everybody!

Good Lord Am I Sick of Scott Rothstein!

How many news cycles can this story dominate?

Scott, this scandal has officially joined the list of Things That I Hate -- in no particular order:

1. Flatbread;
2. The Case That Dare Not Speak Its Name;
3. Any current or former lovers of Drew Barrymore;
4. Metadata;
5. Flavored vodka;
6. Jeremy Piven and/or Brett Ratner;
7. Pesto wraps;
8. Certain Herald TV critics (Glenn was right about V however -- it rocked).

Oh the melodrama:

Rothstein mused that he had three options -- kill himself, live life "on the lam as a fugitive'' or go to prison and risk being killed there because he had made enemies, said the law firm's co-founder, Stuart Rosenfeldt, according to the website. Rosenfeldt talked to Rothstein, urging him to "choose life.''

I bet that's the first time a George Michael T shirt saved a high-powered lawyer from suicide.

Scott seems to possess a perfect storm of characteristics -- talented yet narcissistic, delusions of grandeur, persecution complex, excessive displays of wealth even by South Florida standards, megalomania and a sense that the entire world revolves around him -- in other words, your typical successful South Florida trial lawyer.

Consider the stories coming out -- private elevators, a car fetish, carrying a gun in an ankle holster, blowing $10 million a month.

Indeed, look at the comments section of Bob Norman's "Jewish Avenger" story -- there is definitely something not right about the way Scott engages Norman.

Are there some chemical or other disorders at work here?

Now that he's down, it seems everyone has a negative Rothstein story -- yet some of these folks sat on their feelings or refused to act on them, no?

Roger Stone now says Scott "never added up"; Bill Scherer says "[w]e all wondered where the money came from"; Michael Goldberg says Scott's spending "made no sense." Sunshine Charlie says "I think everybody heard rumors."

My friend Brian Tannebaum wonders how in this recession a firm can go from seven lawyers to seventy and no one questions why or how?

He relates a story of how he drove 40 minutes to meet with Scott for lunch, only to be totally stiffed:

I never met Scott Rothstein. He ducked out a few minutes before our lunch a few years ago. His secretary telling me and his colleague, who set up the lunch: "he went to lunch." There was no further inquiry as we were not entitled to even be standing by his office, an "off-limits" area of the firm. Instead I went to lunch with some other lawyers in the firm who felt they needed to take pity on me for my wasted 40 minute drive, all of them telling me in response to the unprofessional behavior of their king: "I'm not surprised." "That's Scott."

These out-of-control legal types, of which I know many, all have enablers -- those who justify, excuse, or clean up the mess left by the large lives of the bosses they serve, and who not coincidentally benefit from being near to the flame.

Now we know that a seventy lawyer firm, with only two equity partners, really only had one -- as Stuart Rosenfeldt apparently had no signatory authority on certain firm accounts and there is suddenly only $500k left in the firm's operating account.

Judge Streitfeld called Rosenfeldt "clueless" about the firm's finances at a hearing yesterday. Stuart has since invested a large chunk of his own money to keep salaries paid and the firm afloat.

There are lots of victims here, including many many fine lawyers at RRA, but a few of us in the South Florida legal and business communities should probably step up and acknowledge we could have been a bit more proactive on what some apparently suspected all along.

Six Reasons I Will Not Be Blogging This Morning.

Hi kids, here they are:

1. I just had new speakers installed at my office and I plan to blare Quadrophenia at excessive volumes so the new associates stay way the hail out of my way (note to sweet kitchen lady -- you can still bring in the cafecito at 10:30).

2. It's National Constitution Day so I will be quietly reading the entire moldy oldie (while of course listening to Quadrophenia at excessive volumes).

3. I need time to compose an awesomely concise, 140-character or less Twitter message to my pals Hector Chichoni and Jared Beck, informing them that Twitter is an interim, transitional technology that will be about as relevant in 10 years as AOL Message Boards are today.

4. I'm still processing the arse-kicking that Brian Tannebaum's Criminal Offense delivered to the Well-Hung Jury.

5. I have finally found an instance where there can be no doubt that Iqbal has been properly applied.

BTW, the "lawyer" representing the plaintiff in the above case called the federal judge -- a George W. Bush appointee -- a "puppet" of Obama "just like in the Soviet Union" but did walk it back some by helpfully suggesting that "not every judge is as corrupt as Judge Land."

(Thank goodness she didn't post these comments on a blog!)

6. What else -- I'm going windsurfing.