3d DCA Watch -- Welcome, New Lawyers!

It's a festive time inside the bunker and the Resplendently Robed Ones have pulled out all the stops (i.e., they briefly fixed the coffee maker) to welcome a new class of Florida attorneys:

On October 3, 2012, the Court will hold Induction Ceremonies to swear in the newly admitted inductees to the Florida Bar. The induction ceremonies will be at 10:30 a.m. and 2:00 p.m. All inductees, their families and friends are invited to attend.

Congratulations!!

Now that you've just been sworn in, did you know some lawyers want you to be regulated by the Florida Legislature -- and we know how good a job they always do:

It may be time to review the status of the Florida Bar, which is only subject to the supervision of the Florida Supreme Court Justices.

Why should lawyers be the only profession exempt from legislative oversight; that is, from the oversight of the people of Florida?

I thought conservatives want LESS regulation of business?

Sorry kids, too late to go back to law school.

Let's press on to the business of pressing business:

City of Miami v. Fraternal Order of Police:

Judge Cynamon's temporary injunction enjoining the City Manager from invoking a "financial emergency" overturned.

Back to the bargaining table!  (Good luck.)

Here's an interesting one -- Judge Shepherd on the limited nature of appellate review:

The jurisdiction of the courts of this state is an intricate design arising out of provisions of the state constitution, statutes, and rules of procedure. We are not authorized to cut corners on that design.

Hey, weren't we (and the Florida Supreme Court) just talking about this?

Murphy v. Murphy:

Judges Schwartz and Rothenberg disagree on what constitutes a "supportive relationship."

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure this qualifies.

Now go get a job, plebes!

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/10/02/3031333/unfair-exemption.html#storylink=cpy

FL Bar Report: Some Lawyers Are Old and Others Have Major Problems.

 The Intrepid One™ reports on the results of a FL Bar commission, empaneled in the wake of the Rothstein debacle, which found -- surprise(!) -- that some lawyers are up to no good:

"Cases like The Florida Bar v. Scott W. Rothstein or the myriad of cases involving mortgage fraud, loan modifications and foreclosure fraud illustrate a changing profession and the need for a lawyer regulation system able to adapt to such cases," stated the report. "Additionally, these types of cases demonstrate a need to provide information to the public about the steps that The Bar already has taken, currently is taking and is planning to take to handle these cases in order to continue to ensure public confidence."

Zzzzzz.

Was the writing of this report outsourced to the Miami Herald editorial board?

There's gotta be something more substantive in there:

But Miami attorney Brian Tannebaum, who frequently represents lawyers under investigation by The Bar, criticized the report as overly focused on public relations.

"The report says to me, 'the Scott Rothstein debacle hurt The Bar. How do we convince the public that we care?' " he said. "The Florida Bar has become more of a consumer protection agency than an agency designed to regulate lawyers."

Probably true but hey, what's wrong with that -- we could use a nice PR agency.

Then there's this:

 "There are many instances where some lawyers work past their point of effectiveness to a period of life where they develop mental and physical problems," stated the report. "This can lead a lawyer who has had a stellar career to lose his or her reputation, practice and resources during the twilight years of his or her career."

Ok, you've just described every senior partner I've ever worked for.

Plus down here nobody ever really loses their reputation -- we've given them too many awards and honors for that.

Happy Tisha B'Av -- Temples Destroyed, But We Got Ourselves a Denny's!

Oh South Florida legal community, why are you so hungry for malicious gossip "news"?

Does it matter, as Julie Kay writes today, that your websites will no longer comply with Bar rules?

(This, of course, assumes that they ever did.)

More importantly, now that the Palm Beach County Bar Association is moving into a former Denny's, should we feel bad for the bar or for Denny's -- all I know is Adam Rabin better make me an omelet if I show up there s@*tfaced at 3 in the morning.

And to the blog visitor who arrived here via a search for "Israel hot girls," I'll have you know that today is Tisha B'Av, only the saddest day on the Jewish calendar (that says a lot, believe me).

Sure we lost two temples, the most treasured of treasured holy sites desecrated twice by invading heathens -- plus a lot of other bad stuff happened on this date, like the expulsion of the Jews from Spain in 1492 and World War I, to name but a few lowlights.

But on the other hand, we have gained a Denny's.

Let me repeat it, slowly, in perfect....Rabbi.....diction -- we have gained a Denny's.

That reminds me -- did I mention everyone is supposed to be fasting today?

Adam, I 'll see you later tonight and I'm gonna be hungry (btw -- ham, mushrooms and cheese, thanks!).

Your Tuesday Morning Round Up.

Hi kids, big news -- Gwynne Young wins the Florida Bar run off!

Oh I'm kidding, the big news down here, broke by David,  is Gene Stearns convincing Judge Ungaro to grant his 50(b) motion and throw out the jury's verdict against BankAtlantic.

Guess it really was the worst trial Gene's ever seen.

Does this vindicate the overall approach to the litigation by the defendant (which just posted a $22.9 million loss this quarter)?

Hard to say as we're somewhat in uncharted territory, though it's a major concession by the Judge that things could have/would have/should have proceeded differently.

In other news, Glenn Garvin thinks NYT readers are deviant liberals who love big black c*%k.

Hey, I just report this stuff!

(I'm joking, he just randomly selected a few books to highlight the average content of the NYT Sunday book reviews.)

Not Exactly a Fun Email to Write.

Just got this from my friend Gwynne who has run a very solid campaign for Florida Bar President and we wish both her and Skip well:

This is a correction of the e-mail sent by me which incorrectly listed "William A. Davis, Member, Board of Governors, The Florida Bar," as endorsing my candidacy for President-Elect of the Florida Bar. This was a reference to Board Member William H. Davis, who is on the Board of Governors; and he does not endorse my candidacy. 

Ouch -- that's some correction!

Vote, You Plebes!

Today is the last day to vote for Florida Bar President and for open seats on the Board of Governors:

Schickel is part of a three-way race for president, which hasn’t happened in 26 years. The 1984 race saw Patrick Emmanuel of Pensacola win in a runoff with William Trickel Jr. of Orlando. Michael Plunkett was third.

Schickel is running against Walter Campbell Jr. of Fort Lauderdale and Gwynne Alice Young of Tampa. All three are members of The Florida Bar board of governors.

The winner needs 50 percent of the vote plus 1, so, with three candidates, it is likely there will be a runoff.

“This is the first contested race since 2000, when Herman Russomanno of Miami was elected, and the first three-way race I can remember,” said Howard Coker, 1998 Florida Bar president. “I fully expect there to be a runoff.”

Coker ran unopposed, so he didn’t have to campaign as much as Schickel, his fellow partner at Coker, Schickel, Sorenson & Posgay has.

“This is what I call an old-fashioned election. Because you don’t have any polling, you don’t have any trending, you don’t have any tracking like you do in major political races. Three people put their hats in the ring and you just have to see how it shakes out,” said Coker.

You can vote online here -- the deadline is the stroke of midnight (of course).

And for those of you with good memories, I offer this blast from the past:

This video has been removed by the user.

Hey, no fair!

This Time Judge Carnes Cites An Old Opera!

Listen, anyone who reads this thing knows I'm all for historical references, pop cultural references, musical references, literary references, you name it.

And so is Judge Carnes!

But I think at this point Judge Carnes is just playing with us.

Get a load of this opening in an interesting opinion dealing with the Florida Bar's certification process:

This case reminds us of the observation of the Grand Inquisitor in Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Gondoliers. Upon finding that all ranks of commoners and servants have been promoted to the nobility, he protests that there is a need for distinction, explaining that: “When everyone is somebody, then no one’s anybody.” 1 The same is true of a state bar’s certification process. If every attorney who practices in an area is certified in it, then no one is anybody in that field. The easier it is to be certified, the less that certification means.

Ok, that's a long way to go (all the way back to 1889 in fact) to make the point that you dilute the exclusivity of an honor when you expand the critieria for membership.

Didn't Groucho say something similar, only funnier?

Anyway, then the Judge goes on to affirm the district court's holding that an attorney, who was once certified in family law but was denied recertification based on negative confidential peer reviews, has no "entitlement" or constitutionally protected property interest in same, and no "right" to confront her peers.

Maybe the Grand Inquisitor reference has a deeper meaning?

Peter Ticktin Says Client Mortgages OK!

You know that foreclosure defense attorney who is taking out mortgages on his clients' homes?

Turns out he was twice sanctioned by the Bar and they're taking a look at this issue as we speak:

Peter Ticktin, whose license has been suspended by the Bar twice since 2009, told the Times that the second mortgage would take effect only if he succeeded in having the foreclosure dismissed and the homeowner’s loan reduced. He also said his firm never would foreclose on his own clients should they stop paying on their second mortgages.

Elizabeth Tarbert, the Bar’s ethics chief, declined to say whether the unusual payment arrangement detailed in the article violates bar rules governing conflicts of interest. Bar spokeswoman Francine Walker said only that the disciplinary body’s investigation centers on Ticktin’s quotes in the Times article.

Ticktin said he was not aware of the most recent Bar investigation but defended the practice, saying his research indicated regulations allow attorneys to secure fees using mortgages. The Bar already had examined his retainer agreement in Tampa’s judicial district, where he also has an office, and found nothing inappropriate, he said in a telephone interview.

 “We believe it is ethical, appropriate and the only way some people will get representation,” he said.

Belief is a funny thing.

For example, I believe in unicorns, Bigfoot, and that Charlie Sheen just had an adverse reaction to over-the-counter flu medication.

Indeed, wasn't it Oscar Wilde who said "I can believe anything provided it is incredible"?

Ervin Gonzalez Withdraws From Bar Presidency Race!

That's too bad, but drywall drywall drywall:

Friends: A trial date has been set for the Chinese Drywall litigation. I find that my clients' current needs are overwhelming and that I must focus on their needs rather than my goal to become President-Elect of The Florida Bar. This is why I have withdrawn as a candidate. I believe that as professionals our duty requires us to protect our clients' interests first and foremost. Thank you for all of your support.

Clients' current needs? Professional duty?

I told you this guy is old-school.

Actually, that's a bummer but we totally understand.

For old times' sake, let's take another look at Ervin's announcement video and what could have been.....

BREAKING -- Ervin A. Gonzalez Not Actually On Twitter!!

Ervin, I spent the requisite 3.7 hours attempting to get through your full two-page ad on pages 14 and 15 of the December 1st Florida Bar News. After several brief naps and thirty-two shots of cafecito, I persevered and made it to the end.

In it, you set forth a detailed and thoughtful agenda for change if elected as President-Elect of the Florida Bar. You already know you have my support.

But I paid particular attention to your section on technology:

"My administration will take advantage of the technological advances that have been made in recent years and provide greater access to electronic filing of court documents, internet seminars, teleconferencing meetings and interactive web based seminars and programs for Florida lawyers."

Recently we saw how you pretty much own YouTube.

So naturally I went to your website electervingonzalez.com, expecting it to be nearly as neat as the new Avatar interactive trailer and here's what I found:

Web Site Coming Soon

Huh?

Umm, that's ok -- you have a very busy practice I'm sure you'll get your IT guy to put something up soon.

Then I saw in your ad you mention your Twitter account so of course I wanted to get your "tweets" and follow you like I do Meghan McCain and Sarah Silverman but here's what I found:

We couldn't find anyone named Ervin A. Gonzalez.

Now that's odd.

When I put it "Ervin Gonzalez" this is what comes up:

Did you mean erwin gonzalez?

We couldn't find anyone named Ervin Gonzalez.

Listen, I don't want to fly off the handle and accuse your opponent of an internet-savvy "dirty-tricks" campaign or anything (that would involve me having to look up who your opponent is, for one thing).

But something is rotten in cyberspace, dude.

Ervin (alright, you too Mr. Erstwhile Opponent), you are more than welcome to use this limited plot of intertubular real estate to make your case to the good lawyers and judges of South Florida -- or at least the ones who spend way too much time screwing around on here.

Play nice, fellas!

Latest YouTube Sensation -- Ervin Gonzalez!

That's pretty weird.

I was searching for a new "cat playing piano" video and somehow ran across Ervin Gonzalez.

Not bad Ervin, but a few tips if I may:

1. Get up from your desk. These tubes are a fluid medium.

2. Why are your hands clasped so much -- express yourself!

3. If possible, figure out a way to include that Wii girl from Miami.

Oh well, it doesn't really matter -- Ervin has my support either way.

BTW, the Florida Supreme Court today approved new rules regulating lawyer advertising on the web -- you can read the opinion here.

Note -- they have a particular interest in the potential abuse of client "testimonials."

You Don't Want My Metadata.

A few years ago everyone wanted to talk about "metadata."

There were CLE seminars on it, papers, you name it.

Of course the Florida Bar got involved and the Florida Bar Board of Governors held a conference and naturally everyone got very worried about it -- so worried that several of the board members hadn't heard the word "metadata" until the meeting in which they immediately voted to denounce it.

I don't want to say it reached what I would describe as the highest level of inordinate outsized media attention --"flatbread mania" if you will, but it got up there.

Add to that the annoying obligation recently imposed by the CM/ECF system to check off your awareness of your redaction responsibilities every time you log on -- thank you, stupid bankruptcy lawyers! -- and you have a perfect storm of y2k-style paranoia brewing.

Just a few moments ago I received this email from a federal district court advising that even your well-intentioned yet totally lame redaction methods may be inadequate:

Some redaction techniques used when e-filing are ineffective, in that the text intended to be hidden or deleted can be read via a variety of techniques. And, because information about the document, called "metadata", is also stored inside the document, it is often viewable as well. Examples of metadata and hidden data include the name and type of file, the name of the author, the location of the file on your file server, the full-sized version of a cropped picture, and prior revisions of the text.

E-filers must use extra care to make sure that the PDF documents to be submitted to ECF are fully and completely free of any hidden data which may contain redacted information. The protection of sensitive data can be compromised if improper redaction techniques are used. Here are a couple of examples of sensitive-data visibility issues:

* Highlighting text in black or using a black box over the data in MS Word or Adobe Acrobat will not protect the data from being able to be seen. Changing the text color to white so it disappears against the white screen/paper is similarly ineffective.

* Previous revisions and deleted text may be able to be seen by manipulating an Adobe Acrobat file.

Listen, I'M JUST TRYING TO FILE A NOTICE OF APPEARANCE HERE!

If somebody wants to take the time to unpack my one page notice and learn that I spent half the day rewriting the first page of the brilliant graphic novelization of Kafka's Metamorphosis to include wild half-man, half-bug sex between Gregor Samsa and Drew Barrymore, so be it:

One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in his bed he had been changed into a monstrous verminous bug. He lay on his armour-hard back and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his brown, arched abdomen divided up into rigid bow-like sections. From this height the blanket, just about ready to slide off completely, could hardly stay in place. His numerous legs, pitifully thin in comparison to the rest of his circumference, flickered helplessly before his eyes.

“What’s happened to me,” he thought. It was no dream. His room, a proper room for a human being, only somewhat too small, lay quietly between the four well-known walls. Above the table, on which an unpacked collection of sample cloth goods was spread out—Samsa was a travelling salesman—hung the picture which he had cut out of an illustrated magazine a little while ago and set in a pretty gilt frame. It was a picture of Drew Barrymore from her January 1995 Playboy pictorial, with several well-placed tattoos and a smile that could make a man go buggy with primal animal desire. She sat erect there, lifting up in the direction of the viewer a solid fur muff into which her entire forearm had disappeared.

It goes on from there, but you get the picture.

There, I hope it was worth it, all you efiling metadata thieves -- happy now?