I'm Back! (The Situation, Not So Much).

Hi kids, did June even happen?

It feels like a Dallas/Newhart fever dream, what with Guest Blogger, Godwhacker, someone named Faker SFL, someone named "Patrick Goggins" (I'm kidding!), lots of prurient content (if you're grumpy gus Scalia) -- plus a certified Time Traveler.

I wish I could say I'm fully rested and restored, but I spent a month in sybaritic pursuit of frivolous, purely hedonistic pleasures, pushing myself to and beyond all known mental and physical limits, until I literally collapsed from exhaustion, unable to imbibe through my senses or pores even one more delectable morsel of transitory joy from my decadent surroundings, leaving me drained and emptied of all energy and life force, quaking quietly and gasping for breath as I pulled myself together and somehow crawled with trembling hands and unsteady feet back into my law office.

And summer's just kicking in!

Let's start the week off with a thorough, devastating legal defeat for our good friend The Situation, courtesy of the always dapper Magistrate Judge O'Sullivan:

The undersigned finds that the plaintiffs have failed to present a triable issue of fact as to whether the defendants’ “The Fitchuation” t-shirt was likely to confuse consumers into believing that the shirt came from the plaintiff rather than A&F. Additionally, the plaintiffs did not satisfy their burden of showing that they had valid rights to “The Situation” as a trademark covering apparel at the time that A&F introduced its “The Fitchuation” t-shirt.

See, this is important legal stuff!

My informed legal opinion:  Once the Houlinator™ entered an appearance, put a stick in it, The Situation was done.

But that's why God gave us appellate courts, right?