Our Taj Mahal Beats Their Hawaiian Junket!

So the 9th Circuit wants to play that game:

Two senior Senate Republicans on Monday blasted plans by judges in the 9th Circuit to hold a conference in Hawaii this August that they said could run up a tab of $1 million or more, and includes a schedule of sport fishing, yoga, surfing lessons and Zumba dancing lessons.

 Pikers!

A measly million, and some yoga and surfing -- that's nothing.

Call me when you've got miles of African Sapele wood, 60 inch flat screens and Italian granite -- then you can play in our "sandbox," as the lawyers down here like to say.

I actually think the room rates are quite modest for Hawaii in the summer -- deluxe ocean rooms at the Hyatt Regency Maui for $250 a night?

(Note to Adam Rabin -- I hope you haven't booked our next Bench and Bar meeting yet!)

 Now this is what I call real networking:

Parsing the 1st DCA Taj Mahal JQC Charges.

It's never a good thing for a judge or lawyer to be hauled before a disciplinary committee, but for judicial car wreck onlookers the charging document against 1st DCA Judge Paul Hawkes is an interesting read.

Travis Pillow over at the Florida Independent has a nice summary, which includes this personal favorite:

On one occasion you demanded that the deputy marshal buy you a bottle of vinegar. The purpose was to clean your personal coffee pot. The deputy marshal refused, but you demanded that you be shown in writing why she, could not buy you a bottle of vinegar. She showed you that she was not authorized to purchase personal items for individuals. Even though she refused to buy you a bottle of vinegar, you continued to mention it to her and to harp on her refusal to buy you the vinegar.

And the problem is?

First of all, everyone knows the best way to clean a coffee pot is with lemon juice ice and salt -- has this guy ever worked in a restaurant?

Secondly, and I don't know about you, but to me this sounds like every boss I ever worked for when I was in high school.

Let's continue:

Hawkes allegedly tried to get a free trip to Indiana, courtesy of a company that had just sold the court thousands of dollars worth of new furniture. The chief judge at the time nixed his travel plans, and Hawkes allegedly “tried to intimidate” court marshal Don Brannon (who helped oversee budget matters) to change his version of events surrounding the planned trip during a closed-door meeting. Hawkes told other court employees “that no such trip was ever under consideration.” The fallout from that incident and Hawkes’s “coercive and intimidating” manner eventually prompted Brannon to resign.

My reaction:  see above.

But seriously -- we are talking Indiana.

I like this part best:

Hawkes’ conduct and behavior “demonstrated a pattern of conduct that can only be characterized as intemperate, impatient, undignified and discourteous,” the JQC alleged.

Come on!

"Intemperate, impatient, undignified and discourteous"  -- those are the precise qualities I look for in a judge.

(Mark Romance has already received my letter endorsing same.)

Chief Justice: All Courthouses Should Look Exactly Like the 3d DCA!

In a bold rejection of the much-derided, lavish "Taj Mahal" courthouse built for the fancy-pants judges up at the 1st DCA, Chief Justice Canady has issued an edict from on high -- from now on, every courthouse should be just like our weathered, treasured, workmanlike JusticeBunker™:

"The construction of a courthouse is a long-term investment in a building where important public business is done. But that does not justify extravagant expenditures.

"Courthouses should be dignified, durable and functional. They should not be grandiose, monumental and luxurious.''

"Indeed," the Chief Justice continued, "they should be made not with miles of rare African Sapele wood, but rather with concrete -- lots and lots of concrete."

In terms of aesthetic design, Justice Canady was quite specific:  "Instead of a magnificent edifice intended to convey the sweeping power, grandeur, and authority of the Law, courthouses should appear more like a hardened shelter, often buried partly or fully underground, designed to protect the inhabitants from falling bombs or other attacks."

For example, "toilets and sinks should be bolted down to withstand sudden impact, and mechanical rooms should double as exercise centers in order to encourage both good health and fundamentally sound building maintenance.

I am aware of such a court, built literally upon a highway....."

3d DCA vs. 1st DCA -- Let's Compare Courthouses!

There is an unintentionally hilarious article in the Florida Bar News that curiously does not involve or even mention my pal George L. Metcalfe.

It purports to compare the palatial "Taj Mahal" like new 1st DCA facility with, of all things, our own little bunker.

Let's see how we stack up!

** Fasano was critical of a rubber-floored exercise area in the new First DCA, which he referred to as a gymnasium. But other DCAs also have exercise areas. But all are ad hoc, set up in storage areas or mechanical rooms and using donated equipment.

That's right --  I know this because I personally donated my old vibrating belt, which you can see in use at the 3d DCA closet/gym in this undated photo:

I also gave them my old medicine ball and a pair of kettle bells -- hey wait, all these things are making comebacks!

** Fasano also noted that the First DCA “gymnasium” had an attached shower room and wondered how common that was. All of the other DCAs reported having showers although they were part of restrooms. Most reported one or two showers for each gender, with the exception of the Third DCA, which has separate showers in seven of its judicial suites.

Let's see, ten judges but only seven showers -- that math works for me.

** The private bathrooms for judges at the First DCA also have garnered attention. They include a toilet, a mahogany medicine cabinet, and a marble-topped small vanity with sink, in a space about the size, or perhaps a little larger, of a bathroom in a typical home. Every other DCA, with the exception of the Second DCA’s Tampa branch courthouse, also include bathrooms for judges, although smaller. Suhr noted the Second DCA’s bathrooms are four by six feet — less than half the size of the First DCA’s. Third DCA Marshal Al Sadowski said the small judicial bathrooms there each have a toilet and a sink bolted to the wall.

Bolted to the wall?  You mean like in prison?

** Fasano also criticized the kitchens in each judicial suite, which feature a sink and a long, marble-topped counter over painted cabinets. The Second and Third DCAs do not have kitchens in the judicial suites.

Excuse me, but is someone forgetting a certain coffee maker?

Anyways, I'd take a private shower over a kitchen any day.

** In appearance, there is little in common between the new First DCA courthouse and other DCA courthouses. Those are one or two story structures where any columns appear to be almost symbolic, while the First DCA features large columns inside and outside of its three-story home. None of the others include domes, which is an architectural highlight of the First DCA structure.

This is unfair -- I believe the bunker's architecture speaks for itself.

(Oops -- have I gone too far?)

3d DCA Watch -- Submit Your Bids!

I don't know about you, but I spent most of the morning working up a bid to replace the bunker's aging AC system.

Do you think the Resplendent Ones will like my proposal?  BTW, it happens to involve 60 inch plasma screens, miles of African Sapele wood, new kitchens for each judge, and of course hand-chiseled granite air filters.

Oh yeah, I should probably mention that all the opinions this week are glorified PCAs.

Which is fine, because now I have more time to get back to my proposal.

What about a nice Taj Mahal shaped coffee maker?

Hmm.....

(Incidentally, the judicial architect behind the new 1st DCA courthouse, Chief Judge Hawkes, was retained by a narrow nine point margin yesterday.)

"Taj Mahal" Courthouse Built At Bunker's Expense?

The scandal involving the 1st DCA's "Taj Mahal" courthouse continues, as politicians and administrators play political football in light of Alex Sink's recent audit.

The latest pushback is from the head of the state agency in charge of the construction of state buildings, Linda South, who says basically that the 1st DCA judges constantly meddled with the project:

She said there was a point, early enough in the project, to "put a fence around the design of the courthouse."

Her agency is supposed to be in charge of constructing state buildings, but e-mails show that the DMS and the judges struggled over control. South replaced one agency architect with another after the first one clashed with the judges over control.

The judges wanted veto power over anything the DMS did, a point South refused to concede, though the DMS agreed to notify the judges of everything.

First District Court Judge Paul M. Hawkes, chairman of the court's building committee, objected when he felt the court was not included in even the smallest details.

"We are under the impression that there have been communications where we were not included," Hawkes wrote in a 2007 e-mail. " … We feel it is essential that NO communications occur about this project without us being included."

In February 2008, the judges insisted on firing Tallahassee architects Barnett Fronczak Barlowe because the firm refused to design a building that would cost more than the state had budgeted.

"The judges were unhappy; they wanted more building than they had money to spend," South recalled.

The judges wanted a building with "wow" factor — "worthy of the court and its functions," according to 2007 notes taken by Hawkes' law clerk of early meetings between the architects and judges.

Chris Kise, attorney for Gov. Charlie Crist, attended one meeting and warned the judges that the governor and Legislature supported "a nice courtly facility but not at the expense of the four other DCAs and the Supreme Court," where there are older facilities.

We may have a little fun from time to time with the bunker by the highway, and there may not be miles of Sapele-wood, flat-screen TVs or gleaming granite countertops, but let me assure you -- our concrete center of justice is completely state of the art.*


* state of art circa 1974, aka the "Reubin Askew" Florida style manual

Let me ask another question -- why does a courthouse need a "wow" factor?

Whose ego is stoked by such a thing?

As a litigant, I'm perfectly happy with a "nice courtly facility," what's so wrong with that?

(BTW, when we can we get a nice courtly facility?)

3d DCA Watch -- Exciting New Changes in the Bunker!

Slim pickings inside the concrete hall of justice, kids.

Maybe it's because while the 1st DCA fends off calls by Governor Crist and Alex Sink to have the JQC investigate its letter-writing Chief Judge, our own Robed Ones have been delighting in a new coffee pot in the attorney's lounge which - rumor has it -- apparently includes genuine vending machine paper coffee cups with a wild card on the bottom!

Extravagant, even decadent perhaps, but the denizens who toil inside the bunker deserve nothing less.

So enjoy your flat screen empty, granite top missing, 100% African Sapele wood-free 3d DCA roundup:

Deno v. Lifemark Hospital:

Why would anyone voluntarily arbitrate under this med mal statute?

Barnett v. Bank of America:

Am I reading this wrong or did the bank allegedly try to intentionally injure its Bay Harbor employees?

Centennial v. Dolomite:

Judge Schwartz, in a vigorous dissent, has an aggravated case of "law of the case."

I had this once.

May I suggest some hydrocortisone cream and a nice oatmeal bath?

You Don't Need A Weatherman to Know Which Way the Wind Blows.

``

As I predicted, it appears the 3d DCA opinion overturning Florida's gay adoption ban will not be further appealed:

It's clear that the District Court of Appeal decision is of statewide application, and it will be binding on all trial courts across the state,'' Sheldon said.

As of last week, the state had exhausted the time to challenge the Gill adoption, and so, regardless of the law's status, the two children will remain Gill's adoptive children, Sheldon said.

Sheldon said he had discussed the case with Florida Attorney General Bill McCollum as early as Tuesday morning, and informed the state's top law enforcer of his decision. He said he does not know whether McCollum will choose to exercise his authority to appeal to the Florida Supreme Court in defense of the state statute.

Add to that recent federal district court rulings on DADT, DOMA, and Prop 8 and it's evident there's something happening, and you don't know what it is, do you Mr. Jones?

Oops, there I go again!

Question -- how cocooned do you have to be to think it's a good idea to purchase 20 miles of African Sapele wood at taxpayer expense for your fancy new appellate courthouse?

I have been to the bunker by the highway many times and I can assure you there is no wood in that building anywhere -- literally there is nothing organic or derived from the earth anywhere inside that place unless you count "concrete" as an all-natural substance.

And this is something we're proud of!

Finally, someone wants to shut Spencer Aronfeld up.

Have a nice hump day.

3d DCA Watch -- They Write Letters, Judicial Edition

Hi kids, the bunker is stirring because it's mail day, and the Resplendently Robed Ones have received written greetings and salutations from the Judicial Sultan who will soon preside over the alleged 1st DCA "Taj Mahal":

Chief Justice Paul Hawkes of Florida’s 1st District Court of Appeals issued a seven-page letter Monday to newspaper editors around the state, responding to the flurry of criticism that has been leveled against the court’s new $48 million home in the state’s capital.

Oh Lord, this can't be good.  Whose idea was this?

The fact that the letter was written on official 1st DCA letterhead, which includes the names of all 15 judges associated with the building, was criticized by fellow judge Peter Webster, who contacted Hawkes directly before the letter was published...

Ok, so far it's going exactly as I would expect it to.

Let's see what the good judge is complaining about:

The courthouse project was not the result of a “backroom deal,” but was the result of an approval process that spanned from 2005 to 2008, and included at least one public committee meeting. Hawkes acknowledges that the bulk of the funding, some $33.5 million in bonds, was approved on the morning of the last day of the 2007 legislative session as a last-minute amendment to a transportation bill, but notes that the decision to bond the construction of the building had been made earlier in the year and as such should not have been a surprise.

"[A]t least one public committee meeting"?

I'm convinced!

What about those 60-inch flat screens in every office:

the televisions are actually monitors for the viewing of court procedures and documents. No cable/satellite connections are included in the construction plans.

Exactly -- I mean, how did judges even view documents before the advent of flat-screen technology?  On their clunky rear-projection TVs?  How mid-80s!

(In fact, our own industrious, inventive judges don't require any high technology --they regularly stage elaborate, fully-costumed re-enactments of key portions of depositions as well as have documents delivered to chambers via a contraption made entirely from bamboo and coconuts).

Also, smart to stay away from basic cable or satellite -- Uverse is the wave of future.

Here's the best part about our letter-writing, new courthouse-defending Chief Judge:

In a recent Florida Bar poll, Hawkes received the lowest rating ever given an appellate court judge up for merit retention.

How the hail did that happen?

Moving on to our own, flat-screen empty coffee-swillers, should we even bother with any cases this week?

Ok, just one:

Here, the parties’ Arbitration Agreement states that it encompasses all issues “with respect to the allegations in the complaint.” The American Heritage Dictionary defines “respect” with the synonym “regard.” “Regard” is defined as “concerning or with respect to.”

Hmm, I wonder how that dictionary defines "tautology"?

Finally, word on the street (and by that I mean the turnpike directly in front of the courthouse) is that the short list going to the Governor for the next appointment to the 3d DCA includes Kevin Emas, Ivan Fernandez, and a Key West lawyer named -- seriously -- "Scales."

(I'm not sure if that's his first name, last name, or maybe just what everybody calls him down there when he walks in for a beer?)

3d DCA Watch -- Sorry Folks, Park's Closed!

I have to be honest -- I had the most glorious 3d DCA Watch planned, a shot across the bow in direct response to the 1st DCA's new "Taj Mahal" courthouse, festooned as it is with 60 inch LCD televisions, law clerks dressed like Norse handmaidens, and personal hot tubs in every chamber (ok, I made the last part up).

Listen up all you fancy-pants 1st DCA judges: we have a nice cozy concrete bunker, it's a perfectly acceptable concrete bunker, it's a bunker made entirely of concrete, plus it's a bunker.

What more do you need?

But then something unexpected got in the way of my plans -- no opinions.

Well there's a divorce case or two in there, but those don't really count.

There's a confession of error or two, but that's not something civil litigators ever do.

So the 3d DCA Watch to end all 3d DCA Watches will just have to wait.

Step it up, oh Resplendently Robed Ones, you gotta give us something to work with!

Special 1st DCA Watch -- WTF??

I just had a chance to review this fresh 1st DCA opinion on whether the PSC was correct to order the public dissemination of top FPL executive salary information (compensation over $165k).

The PSC determined they could release the salary info because it was specifically exempted from the definition of "proprietary confidential business information" in Section 366.093(3):

(3) Proprietary confidential business information means information, regardless of form or characteristics, which is owned or controlled by the person or company, is intended to be and is treated by the person or company as private in that the disclosure of the information would cause harm to the ratepayers or the person's or company's business operations, and has not been disclosed unless disclosed pursuant to a statutory provision, an order of a court or administrative body, or private agreement that provides that the information will not be released to the public.

Proprietary confidential business information includes, but is not limited to:

(a) Trade secrets.
(b) Internal auditing controls and reports of internal auditors.
(c) Security measures, systems, or procedures.
(d) Information concerning bids or other contractual data, the disclosure of which would impair the efforts of the public utility or its affiliates to contract for goods or services on favorable terms.
(e) Information relating to competitive interests, the disclosure of which would impair the competitive business of the provider of the information.
(f) Employee personnel information unrelated to compensation, duties, qualifications, or responsibilities.

The 1st reversed, however, saying that the phrase "unrelated to compensation" gives only "some indication" that employee compensation amounts may not be confidential proprietary business information, but that the phrase "includes, but is not limited to" means that there could be other types of confidential information beyond those listed in (a) through (f) -- like, say information relating to employee compensation.

Alternatively, the 1st seems to think that although employee compensation information could be expressly excluded in (f), it could somehow worm its way back in as a "trade secret" under (a) or could be "competitive business information" under (e).

Oh man, I have never loved the 3d DCA more than I do right now.