SFL Friday -- (The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes!

Bit of a slow day, news-wise, here is what's on my mind today:

1.  Just like a Justin Bieber concert, the Palm Beach Bench & Bar Conference is SOLD OUT:

BENCH BAR CONFERENCE IS SOLD OUT AND WE ARE UNABLE TO ACCOMMODATE ANY WALK-INS

Sorry judges, you'll just have to gate-crash.

2.  The DBR has handed out their firm awards in various categories, congrats to the winners!

3.   Gary Farmer has filed suit against Citizens Property Insurance, let's hope the litigation concludes sometime before the last citrus canker case goes to trial.

4.   Elvis Costello was right!  (sort of).

Our Taj Mahal Beats Their Hawaiian Junket!

So the 9th Circuit wants to play that game:

Two senior Senate Republicans on Monday blasted plans by judges in the 9th Circuit to hold a conference in Hawaii this August that they said could run up a tab of $1 million or more, and includes a schedule of sport fishing, yoga, surfing lessons and Zumba dancing lessons.

 Pikers!

A measly million, and some yoga and surfing -- that's nothing.

Call me when you've got miles of African Sapele wood, 60 inch flat screens and Italian granite -- then you can play in our "sandbox," as the lawyers down here like to say.

I actually think the room rates are quite modest for Hawaii in the summer -- deluxe ocean rooms at the Hyatt Regency Maui for $250 a night?

(Note to Adam Rabin -- I hope you haven't booked our next Bench and Bar meeting yet!)

 Now this is what I call real networking:

FBA B SD FL BABC Awards!

Don't you hate lawyers who insist on lengthy, unwieldy acronyms to denote a party in a brief when it is abundantly obvious who is being referred to?

Last I checked, these acronyms (or initialisms?) are supposed to assist, ease or otherwise make the reading experience better for the reader, not clog up a brief with technically accurate yet preposterously long combinations of random initials that serve no purpose other than to make your sentences unreadable.

Alright, onto the FBA B SD FL BABC awards!

Best 70s building that was vaguely updated at some point in the late 80s:

Doral!

Yep, that hulking, aging colossus served us well and showed us that hairy old dogs can still teach us youngins a thing or two (no, I'm not referring to Bob Josefsberg).

Best meat market to pick up other lawyers or judges:

The "networking sessions" near the main ballroom!

It was hot, tight, and filled with lots of attractive people holding glasses filled with dark liquids. All we needed was a disco ball and some Kool and the Gang and those "sessions" could have taken on a whole new meaning.

Best no-show that made the event much much better:

This one's a no brainer --

We regret that scheduled keynote speaker Associate Justice Clarence Thomas has a Supreme Court conflict which will prevent his participation.

Sorry, swlip!

Actually, Judge Dubina was pretty interesting (if you could hear him above the din).

Hey schmuckies, when the Chief Judge of the 11th Circuit is addressing you, shut the hail up and eat your chow.

Best-run plenary session by a guy who actually dressed up nice and wore a suit and tie for the occasion:

Who else -- Scotty D!

Kudos to Brian Spector and Adam Rabin and all the organizers, judges and participants for making this the best FBA B SD FL BABC yet.

(Boy, that really rolls off the tongue.)

SFL Friday -- Bench and Bar Edition

Well kids, it's off to Doral for an insightful and educational day of CLE -- oh hail, who are we kidding, it's a chance to schmooze with some bigshots -- but we might learn something while we're there anyways.

I'm not sure Judge Dubina can match Judge Fay's speech from last time, but I'm willing to help out any way I can.

I may or may not be back later, so if not have a great weekend!

Judge Fay: Your Voice Was Heard!

Anyone at the recent Bench and Bar Conference remembers Judge Fay's rant on federal pay for the judiciary (in addition to his denunciation of "fat cat union bosses" who in his view destroyed the American automobile industry).

Like the old Chris Rock joke about whoever you hate eventually becoming part of your family, it looks like the federal judicial pay raise and saving the auto industry along with all those fat cat union workers are now inextricably linked:

If the $14 billion bailout plan for U.S. automakers passes, it will help more than just Ford, Chrysler and General Motors. Federal judges would get a pay raise, as well.

The raise _ an annual cost of living adjustment, or COLA _ would bring U.S. District court judges up to par with members of Congress, who will receive an almost $5,000 boost on Jan. 1. District judges and lawmakers now earn $169,300 a year but are expected to be awarded a 2.8 percent raise next year, said Dick Carelli, a spokesman for the Administrative Office of the United States Courts.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., insisted that the judicial pay raise go into the automaker loan measure, which is the only item of business on Congress' lame-duck agenda.

Under ethics legislation enacted almost two decades ago, members of Congress get a cost of living raise automatically, but they have to vote to give judges an identical raise. Because the spending bill covering U.S. courts has not passed, the step is necessary if judges are going to get their COLA.

The Senate passed the judicial pay measure as a separate bill in November, but the House never acted. A House Democratic leadership aide said that while House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., supports the pay raise, it was difficult for the House to hold a stand-alone vote in the midst of a recession to increase the pay for people making far more than most workers.

As a result, Reid has taken the unusual step of linking the obscure but important judicial pay issue to the unpopular auto bailout.

Ahh, delicious irony.

SFL Saturday -- Bench and Bar Edition

Anyways so I roll up to the Diplomat Hotel yesterday morning looking, as 'trane noted, resplendent in my Van Dyke and feeling good about our profession after the tremendous showing of support for Ben on Thursday.

As I entered the Convention Area I spied a fit, older gentleman ordering a double at the hotel bar. It was none other than Judge Fay! "Come on over, SFL, I hate to drink alone!"

"Why yes, Your Honor, but isn't it a little early to be having a drink?"

"Son, you ever see The Verdict?"

"I have, Your Honor, one of my favorite films."

"Mine too. Sidney Lumet was the best. It's about corruption, how greed and avarice at the highest levels distort our ideals, bury us beneath our highest aspirations, and force us to slowly submit, to be comfortable with our small failures, to deceive ourselves day by day until there's nothing left of our souls."

"Um, yeah."

"The point is, son, to fight back. Rail against the injustices, don't be a patsy, expose the forces of corruption and fight for what's right dammit!"

With that the Judge cracked two raw eggs into his glass of whiskey, downed it immediately, and ordered another. "Now that's what I call breakfast."

So me and the Judge spent the next few hours compiling a list of our outrages, things that really bothered us. Why the hail DID Senator Clinton spend 11 days in Las Vegas giving one speech to a union? Why don't these Congresspeople work more? How comes federal judges keep getting their cost of living raises denied? What is it with these "fat cat" union bosses that won't allow secret ballots and that are tanking the auto industry? Did I mention the damn unions?

How about lobbyists -- I hate those jerks.

And so it went. Well, before you know it, it was nearly lunchtime.

"Darn it SFL, why didn't you remind me! I gotta give a speech for chrissakes! Hand me that pad, I'm going to tell everybody exactly what's on our minds! No holding back this time, SFL!"

"Judge, are you sure..." But before I could finish my sentence, the judge had jumped off his stool, grabbed the notepad and was gone.

I don't want to take all the credit, but that was one hail of a speech.