Our Taj Mahal Beats Their Hawaiian Junket!

So the 9th Circuit wants to play that game:

Two senior Senate Republicans on Monday blasted plans by judges in the 9th Circuit to hold a conference in Hawaii this August that they said could run up a tab of $1 million or more, and includes a schedule of sport fishing, yoga, surfing lessons and Zumba dancing lessons.

 Pikers!

A measly million, and some yoga and surfing -- that's nothing.

Call me when you've got miles of African Sapele wood, 60 inch flat screens and Italian granite -- then you can play in our "sandbox," as the lawyers down here like to say.

I actually think the room rates are quite modest for Hawaii in the summer -- deluxe ocean rooms at the Hyatt Regency Maui for $250 a night?

(Note to Adam Rabin -- I hope you haven't booked our next Bench and Bar meeting yet!)

 Now this is what I call real networking:

Parsing the 1st DCA Taj Mahal JQC Charges.

It's never a good thing for a judge or lawyer to be hauled before a disciplinary committee, but for judicial car wreck onlookers the charging document against 1st DCA Judge Paul Hawkes is an interesting read.

Travis Pillow over at the Florida Independent has a nice summary, which includes this personal favorite:

On one occasion you demanded that the deputy marshal buy you a bottle of vinegar. The purpose was to clean your personal coffee pot. The deputy marshal refused, but you demanded that you be shown in writing why she, could not buy you a bottle of vinegar. She showed you that she was not authorized to purchase personal items for individuals. Even though she refused to buy you a bottle of vinegar, you continued to mention it to her and to harp on her refusal to buy you the vinegar.

And the problem is?

First of all, everyone knows the best way to clean a coffee pot is with lemon juice ice and salt -- has this guy ever worked in a restaurant?

Secondly, and I don't know about you, but to me this sounds like every boss I ever worked for when I was in high school.

Let's continue:

Hawkes allegedly tried to get a free trip to Indiana, courtesy of a company that had just sold the court thousands of dollars worth of new furniture. The chief judge at the time nixed his travel plans, and Hawkes allegedly “tried to intimidate” court marshal Don Brannon (who helped oversee budget matters) to change his version of events surrounding the planned trip during a closed-door meeting. Hawkes told other court employees “that no such trip was ever under consideration.” The fallout from that incident and Hawkes’s “coercive and intimidating” manner eventually prompted Brannon to resign.

My reaction:  see above.

But seriously -- we are talking Indiana.

I like this part best:

Hawkes’ conduct and behavior “demonstrated a pattern of conduct that can only be characterized as intemperate, impatient, undignified and discourteous,” the JQC alleged.

Come on!

"Intemperate, impatient, undignified and discourteous"  -- those are the precise qualities I look for in a judge.

(Mark Romance has already received my letter endorsing same.)

Chief Justice: All Courthouses Should Look Exactly Like the 3d DCA!

In a bold rejection of the much-derided, lavish "Taj Mahal" courthouse built for the fancy-pants judges up at the 1st DCA, Chief Justice Canady has issued an edict from on high -- from now on, every courthouse should be just like our weathered, treasured, workmanlike JusticeBunker™:

"The construction of a courthouse is a long-term investment in a building where important public business is done. But that does not justify extravagant expenditures.

"Courthouses should be dignified, durable and functional. They should not be grandiose, monumental and luxurious.''

"Indeed," the Chief Justice continued, "they should be made not with miles of rare African Sapele wood, but rather with concrete -- lots and lots of concrete."

In terms of aesthetic design, Justice Canady was quite specific:  "Instead of a magnificent edifice intended to convey the sweeping power, grandeur, and authority of the Law, courthouses should appear more like a hardened shelter, often buried partly or fully underground, designed to protect the inhabitants from falling bombs or other attacks."

For example, "toilets and sinks should be bolted down to withstand sudden impact, and mechanical rooms should double as exercise centers in order to encourage both good health and fundamentally sound building maintenance.

I am aware of such a court, built literally upon a highway....."