How Not To Find Clients.

Jay Weaver reports on the latest alleged hospital records-purchasing scheme:

Maria Victoria Suarez was added to an indictment that charges her and husband Ruben E. Rodriguez with paying a JMH ultrasound technician $1,000 a month for the hospital records of hundreds of patients treated for slip-and-fall accidents, car crash injuries, gunshot wounds and stabbings, federal authorities said.

The technician, Rebecca Garcia, a 22-year JMH veteran, has been fired and pleaded guilty in the conspiracy case.

The Rodriguezes brokered the stolen records of patients' names, addresses, telephone numbers and medical diagnoses to the lawyer over a two-year period, according to the indictment. The lawyer, not identified in court papers, used the information ``to improperly solicit JMH patients with hopes of representing them in future legal proceedings.''

Oy.

How crudely unimaginative! This scheme really lacks sophistication, nuance and -- most importantly -- plausible deniability.

So anyways, who's the lucky lawyer?