Your Useless and Pointless Knowledge

Let me ask you something -- what is the point of the Herald's five-minute summary, or whatever it's called -- that occupies a half page yet provides no new content of any kind?

Are there really people out there who are unable to scan a newspaper like the Herald in five minutes, without having a pointless summary that attempts to replicate what the Herald looks like on the internet?

Seriously, the paper's thin enough without having repetitive filler that serves no purpose whatsoever.

For that matter, I feel the same way about Tables of Contents and Authorities in briefs -- if your brief is 30 pages or less, and you are not in an appellate court that requires it, you are wasting everyone's time by clogging up the beginning of your document with something that no one ever looks at or refers to ever again.

Have you ever read a 25 page brief but suddenly went "where is Venetian Salami, I must find it immediately, I'm unable to simply skim the brief and find it quickly, there must be a mildly faster way -- YESSS!"

In other news, I heard Peter Valori on the radio the other day:

PETER VALORI, ATTORNEY, DAMIAN & VALORI LLP: Typically the person that you're trusting knows nothing of the fraud. They've been victimized themselves, but they just don't know it yet. So they make the perfect candidate to draw in new investors because they have no sense that what they're doing could potentially be harmful to their friend or family member.

Peter, you're a good guy and fine attorney, but come on, you definitely want to put your best face out there, know what I mean?

Help Out on MLK Day -- Take An Associate to Lunch!

Let me say it up front -- I love Melanie Damian (Chris, you're ok, too).

I even like Pete Valori.

And that's why I want everyone reading this blog to take this associate of theirs out to lunch:

Even though Russell Landy, 26, has a good job as an associate at Damian & Valori, a downtown Miami law firm, he notices a new frugality creeping into his spending decisions.

He goes out to lunch less often and chooses cheaper restaurants for dinner with his girlfriend or forgoes dessert at more expensive eateries. A big football fan, he decided earlier this month against spending $100 or more for a ticket to the Miami Dolphins playoff game.

When it comes to buying a new car to replace his 8-year-old Chevy Trailblazer, Landy's thriftiness shines through. He is shopping for a less expensive car than he otherwise could afford because he wants money for other purchases and to set aside for his retirement.

''You have the desire to get the nicest car you can possibly get, and while I'm in a relatively good financial situation and lucky to have a job, I'm looking to take one step down so maybe I'll have a little more disposable income for other stuff,'' said Landy, who bought a town house last year near Dadeland Mall.

Come on, lend a hand -- you don't want this hard-working, capable associate stuck at his desk at lunch, do you?

I tell you, I'm starting to get really ticked off at this whole economy thing.