Judge Milton Hirsch Word Cloud!

Rump and his merry band of quipsters are having some fun with a practice memo to attorneys issued by new Judge Milton Hirsch.

To celebrate I have prepared a word cloud of the paragraph which very pointedly deals with the sin of handing up cases to the Judge.

Enjoy (sedulously, of course)!

"The guy is full of crap and he is despicable.''

I mean, if I had a dime.....

In this case, however, that is Miami trial attorney Ariel Furst, discussing not me for a change but Mike Catalano, from this Herald piece:

The Serrano family is represented by civil attorneys Furst and Stabinski. Catalano says that in November, during a meeting at their office, they said the family wanted Delrisco to ``rot in prison'' unless he fingered the El Paso bar in a Homestead strip mall as his watering hole just before the 5 a.m. crash.

``I said to myself, `These guys want me to cheat,' '' Catalano remembered.

But Delrisco maintains he left El Paso at least five hours before the crash, said Catalano, who would not say where Delrisco went after leaving the bar. His high blood alcohol content after the crash suggests he kept drinking elsewhere.

Catalano complained to prosecutors, then agreed to play along while stressing that the story was a fiction. He made several phone calls that were recorded by an investigator. As part of the sting, Catalano also offered to have Delrisco author an affidavit falsely attesting he drank solely at El Paso, a document he said was later drafted by Furst.

But Delrisco never signed the document or knew of its existence -- it was actually signed by a state attorney's investigator and notarized by Catalano. He delivered it to Furst's office, while hiding a digital recorder in his blue suit jacket pocket.

``I made it very clear that I was uncomfortable because it was not true,'' Catalano said. ``At no time, did [Furst] back off.''

This is an outrage.

Michael, a blue suit? In the dead of winter?

Oh well, good thing in complex commercial litigation we never deal with businesses that lie, cheat or steal.

Rump's grammatical take is here.

Sealed!

Judge Thornton seals the Hirsch tapes:

A Miami Beach man attempting to overturn his DUI manslaughter conviction was handed a setback today when a Circuit Court judge ruled that a secretly made tape recording did not show prominent defense attorney Milton Hirsch urged his client to flee the country rather than face trial.

Judge John Thornton told lawyers for Sean Casey that he listened to the taped conservation "not just once, but several times" before he decided to permanently seal the recording, which makes it illegal to disseminate it or a transcript of the recording.

Don't worry -- the Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart threesome tapes are still available and do not appear to be subject to Judge Thornton's order.

So it's kind of a split-the-baby ruling.

BTW, Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart -- what a marriage!

Way to keep things fresh, you newlyweds.

Your Regularly Scheduled GG Update.

Francisco Alvarado has done some great reporting on the continuing Sean Casey/Milt Hirsch secret tapes saga, which brought none other than the big man himself, Tom Julin, into Judge Thornton's courtroom this afternoon to seek the release of the tapes.

Tom's also been busy petitioning the Supreme Court on Florida's lunch and goodies lobbyist ban, again on free speech grounds.

Any predictions on what Judge Thornton (I know I know -- I'm still getting used to that too) will do?

Tom Julin Represents Milt Hirsch Accuser.

Over at Rump's place, they have been discussing for days this whole Milt Hirsch brouhaha.

It's sorta like the criminal defense bar's version of the endless Mr. Clucky coverage -- it's catnip to those JBB lawyers.

I've stayed away from the story, mostly because I have nothing to add as a civil litigator beyond that I know and respect Milton, plus the dude really knows how to rock a full beard.

On those two criteria alone, Milt will make an excellent judge.

But Riptide has opened up a civil angle to the story, in that none other than the Gainesville Grinder, the Media Man With A Plan, yes -- I'm talking Tom Julin himself(!) -- is representing Milt's accuser, Sean Casey, on a pro bono basis.

In a letter to New Times' Francisco Alvarado, Mr. Casey writes:

Please contact Mr. Thomas Julin (305-810-2516), a partner in the law firm of Hunton & Williams, a widely respected media attorney who is representing me pro bono. Yesterday, Mr. Julin effectively argued in Court against the sealing of the documents on legal and public policy grounds. There is a major legal issue here. The judge granted more time and set an August 13 date for the next hearing. I know you spoke with Mr. Julin once before. He would be more than willing to give you a statement on the issues. The prosecution is asking the court to seal tapes that are crucial evidence in my case and would help me get a new and more fair trial.

That's some serious firepower and a superb lawyer to have in your corner, Mr. Casey.

I suspect we have not heard the last of this one -- hail, it may even outlast the epic Reverend Cutié coverage.

(Ok, unless the tapes reveal Milt sticking his hands down a sexy latina's bikini bottom, it probably won't hit peak Cutié Crisis Coverage levels.)

My Day With Milton Hirsch.

I like Milt Hirsch.

Good lawyer, funny guy, he's gonna make a great judge.

But Milt, seriously, please stop following me around. He's everywhere.

Here he is with some other old white guys at the FACDL pro bono public defender event yesterday. I saw him again later at Stearns Weaver for the Bob Graham fundraiser for legal aid -- buy Senator Graham's new book on participatory democracy, btw. And thank you for your support, Senator.

It got a little much, however, when I was getting dressed this morning and Milt picked out my tie and handed me my shirt.

Miltie, please -- enough already. You have my support, you have my money, yes I will do a fundraiser.

What more can I offer?

Steel Cage Texas Glove Judicial Death Match?

Let me tell you, I'm gonna miss Joan Fleischman. She was one of the most enjoyable parts of the Herald (I know that's not saying much), and she always found offbeat, interesting stories that gave texture and dimension to the crazy goings-on here in South Florida.

Joan, if you're listening, come write for us!

Still, I can't believe she scooped me again with this remarkable tale of life inside 73 West Flagler:

Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Maria Espinosa Dennis says she was battered at the courthouse -- by fellow Circuit Judge David Miller. She says Miller was bent out of shape because the fax machine at her office, which his staff sometimes used, was broken.

Dennis, 52, and Miller, 54, both work at 73 W. Flagler St. They had adjacent offices on the fourth floor. Miller initially spoke to Dennis' bailiff and judicial assistant about the fax machine, then asked to see her.

When she repeated that the machine was out of order, Miller became ''confrontational and told [Dennis] that he felt that he wasn't getting the full story,'' the Oct. 7 police report says. Miller then ``charged toward [Dennis], grabbed her by her shoulders and pushed her toward her office in an attempt to close the door behind them.''

Dennis' bailiff, Ivan Nahmias, 41, ''intervened.'' He ''jumped in between'' the two jurists and ''escorted'' Miller out of her chambers.

Miami-Dade cops assigned to the courthouse say they were summoned to her office after someone hit a ``panic alarm.''

Miller denied pushing Dennis. He told officers that he ``only squeezed by [her] to enter her office and talk with her.''

Chief Judge Joseph P. Farina said ''both parties were to leave the courthouse and have no further contact with each other,'' the report says.

Police turned the matter over to the Miami-Dade State Attorney's office. Public corruption prosecutor Joe Centorino is reviewing the Fax-gate case.

Miller's attorney, Milton Hirsch, sent a letter to Centorino, calling it an ''unfortunate incident'' and an ``overreaction.''

''He did not act willfully or maliciously to touch, batter, or come into contact with Judge Dennis,'' Hirsch wrote.

Dennis' attorney is David Young, the former circuit judge-turned-TV judge. His client did not overreact, he says. ``Judge Dennis is a victim in this case -- and we are exploring all legal remedies.''

Miller has a new office -- on the fifth floor.

You know who's to blame in all this? There are two responsible parties.

First, you can blame our dopey state legislators, who so drastically cut funding for the courts that two judges have to duke it out over a broken fax machine. Pathetic.

More importantly, dear readers, I blame you. Yes, you heard me -- all you hotshot tipsters who send me story ideas, none of you guys caught this one and passed it along to your humble gin-sipping, "10"-obsessed law blogger? So now Fleischman showed me up yet again?

Sheesh, you guys need to step it up.