Judge Shenberg's Tip Line!

Are you going to the slammer?  Interested in how best to make that transition?

Then call convicted Operation Court Broom defendant, ex-judge Harvey Shenberg, who is prepared to disprove the old F. Scott Fitzgerald adage about "second lives," all for a fee:

Shenberg's firm addresses defendant and inmate questions: the surrender; safety concerns; what to tell the kids; how a commissary works.

Fee range: $300 to $750 for a phone consult, $1,500 for a face-to-face; and up to $10,000 to see a client from indictment to release.

``It's a lot more than just preparing the inmate,'' Shenberg explains. ``The family does the time with the inmate, even though they're not inside.''

He solicits business through attorneys and prisonplanning.com. Shenberg runs the operation from his condo in Phoenix.

Hmm, a pay-for-play internet business run from a condo in Phoenix?

Makes perfect sense to me.

BTW, drop Harvey a line and check out his LinkedIn profile here.

Richard Critchlow in Hooterville

Let's see, I'm in a good mood, mostly because I came across this tremendous streaming archived performance of the Dead at the Miami Jai-Alai fronton from back in June 1974.

Geez, remember when they used to have shows there?

(What exactly do they do there now?)

I see Richard Critchlow traveled to a Sarasota circuit courtroom to do battle on behalf of H&K, sued in connection with the alleged Ponzi scheme of Arthur Nadel and Scoop Management.

The David/Goliath/high-powered lawyers in Hooterville perspective of the reporter is quite amusing -- here's a taste:

Holland & Knight hired a team of lawyers from Miami to argue a multi-faceted motion asking for the case to be dismissed. The Miami law firm of Kenny Nachwalter P.A. presented DeFuria with a 3-inch-thick legal binder containing judicial decisions it said supported its position.

Whoa -- three whole inches??

(The reporter didn't mention that two inches consisted entirely of mapquest directions to the Sarasota courthouse).

In other news, Joan reports that pretty much everybody and David Markus will be at this shin dig tonight, where Chief Justice Quince will be speaking.

Isn't it about time the Herald gave her back her regular column?

(oops I meant Joan, not Peggy).

Scarlet begonias, folks.

Is Shareef Malnick Full of Crap?

Well that was a fast weekend, wasn't it?

Mine was uneventful, filled as it always is with windsurfing, Bolero, amateur photography, certain mixed drinks and of course careful study of the Book of Proverbs.

Boy, that King Solomon sure was a shmartie, huh? For example, he said things that even apply to the practice of law, such as:

Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.

Be honest in your dealings with others.

Or this:

A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.

Your integrity is worth more than money.

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

You are judged by the company (and partners) you keep.

I was thinking about King Solomon's writings as I saw Mark Cheskin discussing how to lay people off in today's paper:

Advance notice certainly is the kinder way to fire, said Mark Cheskin, an employment lawyer with Hogan and Hartson in Miami, but managers need to balance that against other considerations.

For example, will the laid-off workers remain productive knowing their employment comes to an end in a few weeks or months? Could they use the time to steal customers away for a new employer?

''In most instances, making the day of termination the last day of employment in the workplace is a best practice,'' Cheskin said.

These are difficult issues, and I think there are practical reasons why Mark's point is valid.

Still, I found Shareef Malnick's justification for his firing of The Forge staff to be less than convincing:

When Shareef Malnik decided to close his landmark Miami Beach restaurant for renovations, he wanted to be sure service remained top-notch until the very last customer was served.

So he said nothing to most of the employees who worked an overnight party in late April. After the last dish was cleared, Malnik e-mailed the restaurant's 100 employees with the news that The Forge would be closing for six months and they would no longer have jobs.

Most received no severance.

So he (1) didn't tell people to start looking for a job; (2) fired them suddenly by late-night email; and (3) didn't pay severance to most of his staff.

But he did it all for his customers!

Is there something wrong with this story? According to the great columnist Joan Fleischman, Malnick plans to sink $3 to $5 million over the next few months in renovating the restaurant.

Is there anyone else in town spending that kind of money on a restaurant? Who would finance that right now?

Also, at the same time he shut down his restaurant, he is also selling his $10 million mansion.

Is this the right time to sell your house?

I can understand doing one or the other, but both together (and no severance!) suggests there may be more to this story than Malnick is letting on.

Steel Cage Texas Glove Judicial Death Match?

Let me tell you, I'm gonna miss Joan Fleischman. She was one of the most enjoyable parts of the Herald (I know that's not saying much), and she always found offbeat, interesting stories that gave texture and dimension to the crazy goings-on here in South Florida.

Joan, if you're listening, come write for us!

Still, I can't believe she scooped me again with this remarkable tale of life inside 73 West Flagler:

Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Maria Espinosa Dennis says she was battered at the courthouse -- by fellow Circuit Judge David Miller. She says Miller was bent out of shape because the fax machine at her office, which his staff sometimes used, was broken.

Dennis, 52, and Miller, 54, both work at 73 W. Flagler St. They had adjacent offices on the fourth floor. Miller initially spoke to Dennis' bailiff and judicial assistant about the fax machine, then asked to see her.

When she repeated that the machine was out of order, Miller became ''confrontational and told [Dennis] that he felt that he wasn't getting the full story,'' the Oct. 7 police report says. Miller then ``charged toward [Dennis], grabbed her by her shoulders and pushed her toward her office in an attempt to close the door behind them.''

Dennis' bailiff, Ivan Nahmias, 41, ''intervened.'' He ''jumped in between'' the two jurists and ''escorted'' Miller out of her chambers.

Miami-Dade cops assigned to the courthouse say they were summoned to her office after someone hit a ``panic alarm.''

Miller denied pushing Dennis. He told officers that he ``only squeezed by [her] to enter her office and talk with her.''

Chief Judge Joseph P. Farina said ''both parties were to leave the courthouse and have no further contact with each other,'' the report says.

Police turned the matter over to the Miami-Dade State Attorney's office. Public corruption prosecutor Joe Centorino is reviewing the Fax-gate case.

Miller's attorney, Milton Hirsch, sent a letter to Centorino, calling it an ''unfortunate incident'' and an ``overreaction.''

''He did not act willfully or maliciously to touch, batter, or come into contact with Judge Dennis,'' Hirsch wrote.

Dennis' attorney is David Young, the former circuit judge-turned-TV judge. His client did not overreact, he says. ``Judge Dennis is a victim in this case -- and we are exploring all legal remedies.''

Miller has a new office -- on the fifth floor.

You know who's to blame in all this? There are two responsible parties.

First, you can blame our dopey state legislators, who so drastically cut funding for the courts that two judges have to duke it out over a broken fax machine. Pathetic.

More importantly, dear readers, I blame you. Yes, you heard me -- all you hotshot tipsters who send me story ideas, none of you guys caught this one and passed it along to your humble gin-sipping, "10"-obsessed law blogger? So now Fleischman showed me up yet again?

Sheesh, you guys need to step it up.

Skip Campbell Represents Clients Who Actually Attended A Rob Thomas Concert

I love Joan Fleischman's column in the Miami Herald. She always finds some interesting nugget out there, usually involving the law or some local yokle. I didn't understand it when they moved and bumped her column to make room for Ana whatever-her-name-is, although I have to admit Ana turned out better than I thought.

Today Joan discovers that Rob Thomas, the punky lead singer for Matchbox Twenty, is actually a dangerous drumstick-thrower:

Lisa Gelbard, wife of Broward neurosurgeon Dr. Steven Gelbard, is suing rock singer Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty fame.

Lisa, 43, says she was hurt at a December '05 concert at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. Thomas was on tour -- without MB 20 -- to promote his first solo album. A member of Thomas' band threw a drumstick into the audience, and it hit ''about her face,'' says Lisa's complaint, filed by attorney Walter ''Skip'' Campbell Jr. She suffered a cervical herniated disk, Campbell says.

Steve, 51, who attended the concert with Lisa, is party to the suit, filed against Thomas' company, Bidnis. He suffered ''the loss of his wife's services, support, consortium and the care and comfort of her society.'' They have been married since '02.

My first question is why the hail a couple their age is at this concert in the first place? Rob Thomas? Oy. And they got seats close enough to the stage to get hit by a drumstick?

Please, people of a certain age, do me a favor and stick to the Styx and REO Speedwagon moldy oldie shows, where there's no danger of anything dramatic or even particularly interesting happening on stage.