Not Now John.

Let's see, it's hump day and I'm getting cranky again.

When oh when will the Resplendent Ones emit their utterances?

I see former heavyweight champion and noted TV star John Ruiz has filed a Toyota gas pedal lawsuit:

Ruiz, who hosts a live late night Spanish program on legal issues called La Ley, said he's already representing hundreds of Toyota owners including owners without sticking pedals worried about the value of their cars.

"Some entities report that it's between 4 and 6 percent. The reality is it's more like 20%. The reality is that no one wants to buy one of these cars right now. You can't resale the car in the marketplace after these issues," said Ruiz.

Ruiz is also looking into something you hear about in the news all the time; when a person parking their car suddenly accelerates into a store front.

"There is no doubt that in some of these cases we are going to be able to determine that it was a faulty part as opposed to what they call driver error." said Ruiz.

Sorry John, your clients will have to be fatally injured in an accelerator crash before they have a cognizable claim for damages.

Also, the Disney Relief Act is moving through the state legislature, much to Mike Haggard's dismay:

"This bill has taken us back Draconian steps from last year,'' said Michael Haggard, the president of the trial lawyers lobbying arm, the Florida Justice Association.

Without the threat of litigation, Haggard reasoned, businesses would have no incentive to prioritize safety.

"It gives immunity to businesses to hurt kids,'' Haggard said. ``It's a higher standard that only applies to children.''

Mike, wrong again.

I look at it this way: so a few kids have to die every year on an unsafe ride -- and that's certainly sad I admit -- but their sacrifice enables the rest of us to enjoy a nice family day at the amusement park.

I mean, we're talking Disney!

SFL Friday -- Where Is The Harmony, Sweet Harmony?

Ok folks, I'm reaching early afternoon burn out.

Thanks to all the tipsters, readers, snarky commenters and others who helped us (barely) get through another week.

Opposing counsel and recalcitrant judges....uhh, not so much.

I got a note that Mike Haggard is helping to sponsor a Haitian relief event tonight, details here.

Also, Andres Rivero's firm is hosting a Haiti relief fundraiser on Tuesday at 6 p.m., and that's a great idea and just one of many reasons those guys are mensches in my book.

Any other events like that coming up, send the details my way.

Peace out kiddies.

Jackie Bueno Sosa Doesn't Like Lawyers (And Mike Haggard In Particular).

Herald columnist Jackie Bueno Soso goes off on the mom of slain Coral Gables High student Juan Carlos Rivera because she has hired Mike Haggard to investigate a possible lawsuit:

In the United States, public sympathy has an inverse correlation to the number of lawyers who surround you when you appear in public. The greater the number of lawyers, the less sympathy you'll get. That's especially true when they are trial lawyers. By appearing at the press conference flanked by finger-waving suits, Cruz no longer came across as a bereaved mother but as an opportunist ready to take advantage of our legal system.

Oh no -- angry blogger alert!!

Seriously, is Mike Haggard really just a "finger-waving suit"?

Jackie also is a legal scholar and already knows -- without any discovery or information obtained regarding school security issues at Coral Gables High -- that the mom's suit is shaky, according to "many" unnamed people who may or may not be lawyers but who may also be cable salesmen or Miami Beach lifeguards:

Now that she's here, she's thanking the community by threatening to sue its school system based on what many would consider a flimsy claim.

Exactly! The mom should be grateful to be here, and thankful the tragic murder of her son has allowed her to meet all these nice new people.

Note to Jackie -- I'm not a PI lawyer, so the "many" anonymous people you reference may be correct, but Mike Haggard is not exactly known for getting involved in a lot of "flimsy" lawsuits.

Indeed, just last year the DBR named him one of South Florida's Most Effective Lawyers (for a second time, btw).

(Sorry about FSU, Mike).

Lawsuits are not "expressions" of sympathy or thankfulness, or indications of the opposite. They are legal instruments that implicate rights and duties of the respective parties.

If she has legal rights she is certainly entitled to pursue them in a court of law, and that does not mean in some reductive, simplistic way that therefore she must not be appropriately "thankful" to Ros-Lehtinen for helping her travel to her son's funeral.

Also, I don't see in Jackie's column where she asked Mike for his perspective on the possible suit and what liability may exist and against whom. Maybe she should ask him?