Attention, Celebrities in Trouble: Gary Ostrow is Here!

We've often lamented the poor writing quality of certain lawyer press releases, which appear to be written in an office in Hyderabad and then fed haphazardly into Google Translate.

Consider this opening paragraph about Broward attorney Gary Ostrow:

Criminal Defense Attorney Gary Ostrow has recently announced his intention to take on all celebrity criminal cases in the state of Florida, effective immediately.

Effective immediately?  Good to know.

But will he even take on D-listers?

Recognizing that star-studded actors and athletes often face an unfair bias in the courtroom, Ostrow a Fort Lauderdale, Florida lawyer seeks to acquit any and all celebrities wrongfully charged of serious crimes. 

But what if they were correctly charged?

There's also the "notoriety" factor:

In his 30 years as a Criminal Defense attorney, Gary Ostrow has gained notoriety for his aggressive trial advocacy, thorough understanding of the law and passion for his clients. A former high-profile client went on record stating, "Unlike most lawyers, Mr. Ostrow places his clients' acquittals as his top priority."

I think they mean fame?

Also, if the former high-profile client won't identify herself, then she is not "on record."