Dimond Kaplan Puts World On Notice of Something.

Breaking news that everybody needs to immediately read. In your case, that means close down your other browsers and personal email accounts and click over to this important news bulletin:

MIAMI, Oct 20, 2008 (GlobeNewswire via COMTEX) -- The securities law firm of Dimond Kaplan & Rothstein, P.A. ( http://www.dkrpa.com/ or http://www.mystocklosses.com/) announces that it is investigating Financial Industry Regulatory Authority ("FINRA") securities arbitration claims to recover investment losses sustained in Lehman Brothers structured products, namely so-called "principal protected notes."

Principal protected notes (also known as guaranteed linked notes) are structured investment products that can be linked to a broad range of underlying investments, including indexes, options on indexes, baskets of stocks, bonds, and even alternative investments such as hedge funds. They often combine derivatives with equities and/or fixed-income investments. Principal protected notes were marketed to conservative, risk-averse investors who were seeking to preserve their capital and generate income as well as share in the growth of the general market.

Indeed, contrary to the usual risk/reward paradigm that dictates that increased potential for investment returns comes with increased risk of loss, a Lehman Brothers brochure represented that principal protected note investors would enjoy both "100 percent principal protection" and "uncapped appreciation potential." But the principal protected notes actually subjected investors to far more risk than they were led to believe. Specifically, after Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy protection in September 2008, holders of the Lehman principal protected notes will have to wait in line with other unsecured creditors to recover what is left of their money.

Dimond Kaplan & Rothstein, P.A. believes that many brokerage firms, including Merrill Lynch, UBS, JP Morgan, Fidelity, and Wachovia, marketed and sold the Lehman Brothers principal protected notes to their own clients. Lehman's structured products included Suns (Stock Upside Note Securities) and Prudents (Prudential Research Universe Diversified Equity Notes). Other brokerage firms also sold their own structured products and principal protected notes, such as Mitts (Merrill's Market Index Target- Term Securities), Sequins (Citigroup's Select Equity Indexed Notes), and Propels (Morgan Stanley's Protected Performance Equity Linked Securities). In total, nearly $70 billion in structured notes were sold to investors last year alone.

Blah blah blah you lost me at "Principal protected notes."

But seriously, that's pretty sexy copy. Boy you guys really know how to suck a reader in, especially unsophisticated investors who have either fallen asleep or expired by the time you explain to them down on page seven how Lehman took all their money.

But what do I know? I just posted the notice so I could put up Dimond's picture again.

And, in all sincerity, I hope you get lots of clients and make lots of money, so that someday Scottie can afford a jacket and tie when DBR comes to take his picture again.