Jeff Kaplan New Math: One Soundbite, Two "Moral Compasses."

Jeff Kaplan explains the nature of sin in one easy soundbite:

“The moral compass of people who commit those kinds of crimes is something that my partners and I will never understand,” says Jeffrey Kaplan. “You either have a moral compass, or you don’t. We’ll never be able to understand what goes through the head of someone who can commit such a heinous fraud.”

Exactly!

Like Jeff, I once had a moral compass.

In my case, however, I ordered it from the back of an old Thor comic book, along with some neat x-ray glasses, a Raquel Welch pillowcase, and a collection of mint Hitler postage stamps.

I think I still have the pillowcase.

Jeff Kaplan in the News......In Singapore!

I kid Jeff Kaplan, really I kid.

I mean, press is press no matter how far-flung or obscure the cite:

In the US, investors are starting to come 'out of the woodwork' after learning in quarterly statements that their Lehman investments are almost wiped out, said Mr Jeffrey Kaplan, a Miami lawyer who specialises in securities-arbitration claims.

'Our phone is ringing off the hook', Mr Kaplan said. 'The vast majority of calls we've taken are investors with accounts at UBS'.

Congrats dude, you finally made The Straights Times! Now get to work on updating your somewhat musty client-related phrases -- you managed to fit in both "out of the woodwork" and "ringing off the hook" into a single soundbite.

I can't believe the reporter didn't want to use your strong finish -- that clients are literally "beating a path to our door."

Oh well, there's always The Singapore Tamil Daily.