Alvin Davis On Firing "A Couple," "Some," and "A Few People."

Intrepid reporter Julie Kay delivers this deliciously rich language from Alvin in describing layoffs at SSD:

Alvin Davis, managing partner of Squire Sanders' Miami office, said on Friday that nine employees in Miami were laid off at the firm on Thursday, including "a couple runners, some staffers and a few people in accounting."

Got it -- what a bunch of anonymous nobodies.

And here's talented legal recruiter Abbe Mald Bunt on the significance of these firings:

"Part of it is humans have been replaced by technology, but the sad part is technology is not who gathers in the communal kitchens to keep the culture and spirit of a firm alive."

Note to Abbe -- those kitchen-lurking slackers usually consist of "a couple runners, some staffers, and a few people in accounting."

Anyways, what are you talking about -- have you seen that rockin' shirt/vest/glasses combo?

The spirit's alive, baby, oh yes it's alive.

No Fireworks At White & Case Holiday Party; Why Not Cancel Christmas, Too?

Sure it's one thing for White & Case to lay off associates and staffers because of our dire economic times, but this is too much:

[T]he 2,400-lawyer international firm will be going ahead with the event at a midtown Manhattan restaurant, reports the Wall Street Journal Law Blog. However it's cutting back this year and plans to spend under $250,000, roughly half of what last year's gala at the United Nations cost.

And there also will be no fireworks, Law Blog reports.

So they are still going to blow $250k -- to celebrate what, exactly? -- but no fireworks. Then why even have it?

I hope there still will be cocktail weenies (if I know that firm's party, I can safely say yes).

Meanwhile, here in Miami they are laying off associates and staff:

White & Case confirmed it laid off eight associates and seven staffers in its Miami office this week as part of a firmwide cut that eliminated 70 associates and 90 nonprofessionals. Most of the fired workers are scheduled to leave by today.

Layoffs were needed to shed excess capacity in the economic slowdown, which hurt the firm’s business, firm spokesman Nicholas Clarke said. Attrition, which is higher in a stronger economy, slowed and forced the firm to make cuts across all of its practice areas. A hiring freeze also is in effect.

He declined to say who was let go but said very few of the job losses were performance-related.

How nice, Nicholas! So only "very few" were let go for performance-related reasons. In other words, you have now left all of these fired associates twisting in the wind. You should have simply said none were let go for performance reasons, or declined to answer.

Question -- is it worse to for the public to suspect you were let go because of your performance, or that you were let go despite your performance?

Conclusion to be drawn: Big-firmers, there is no safety in numbers. But you knew that already, right?

BTW, Abbe you look great in your photo.

Joe, well....nice to see you again.