King of Bain

Let me see if I have the Romney scandal du jour right. Romney claimed that he left Bain Capital in 1999, yet he remained sole owner and CEO of a company he had nothing to do with for the next three years. Does this ring true for anyone? If so, would you also be interested in this fabulous bridge I have down in Brooklyn way?

Q: Why would Romney want us to believe such a thing anyway?

A: Because there are dozens of companies that Bain gutted during that period, shipping thousands of jobs to Mexico, China, and other places with more interesting cuisine than us.

I know, I know. I hate capitalism. Just another pinko-commie fag, what else is new? Only I don’t hate capitalism. I just want it to follow at least the same level of manners and morals that one would exibit when using a public restroom. You know, clean up after yourself. Don’t stink up the place. And for Godwhacker’s sake if you have a “wide stance” get a fracking hotel room. Nobody wants to see that shit.

Sometime Nazi appeaser but always true-blue American businessman archetype Henry Ford once said,

 “There is one rule for the industrialist and that is: Make the best quality of goods possible at the lowest cost possible, paying the highest wages possible.”

 Ford wasn’t being a do-gooder. He was just being a smart businessman. Just think of how many more Model-Ts he could sell if the people working for him could afford the product they built. Sure, this might cost him more in the short-term, but the long-term model was sustainable and increasingly profitable.

 But that’s not Romney’s brand of capitalism. He doesn’t think long-term. He is part of an aberration in our system that we have come to accept because it is commonplace. Today, quarterly reports dominate the business cycle. 5 and 10 year plans take the back seat to the immediate and the now. So much so that I can’t tell if it’s the business climate that is fueling the Wall Street cocaine epidemic, or if it’s the symptomatic desire for immediate gratification of the cocaine high that is pushing the agenda of the business cycle. Actions have been divorced from consequences -- shielded beneath a prevailing numbness that allows one to do things like shut down entire communities, stripping workers of their jobs and retirees of their pension plans without ever breaking that perfect Colgate smile.

No one here is accusing Romney of drug use. Supposedly, he wouldn’t even shoot a double macchiato. But as I learned during after-hours many years ago, you don’t have to be high to act high.