Just in From Hyderabad!

We've previously looked at lawyer press releases that were obviously written by someone with a poor to nonexistent understanding of the English language.

It's a mystery why these things are not edited before they go online, because you're not really doing anyone any favors by putting out an amusingly mangled description of your incredibly awesome legal abilities.

In walks today's edition.

Let's start with the title --  Now You Can Get For Yourself the Best Miami Criminal Attorney

Only now?

And literally the "Best Miami Criminal Attorney"?

From what I understand David's a pretty good lawyer, but my Dad always said no matter how good you think you are there's always someone better.

(Thanks for that vote of confidence, Daddy!)

Here's where they explain who they are:

Locating a perfect Criminal Attorney in Miami is not easy if you do not make proper research. Or else, you may end up choosing an inexperienced lawyer. Joffe and Joffe can offer you the best Criminal defense attorney, who can make things easy for you.

Indeed, if you're not careful you may end up hiring this guy everyone is talking about.

I also like this part:

Mr. Joffe has various achievements to his name and because of his efficiency and ability, Martindale Hubbell has ranked him an ‘AV’. Not many lawyers are capable of acquiring this ranking. This ranking is something that talks about his uniqueness. If you intent to know more about the attorney’s past experience and work, you need to contact his office, and they will soon send you a written record of his past experience and achievements.

Ok, this has to be a Google Translate Hindi/English translation.

Here is the above text as it was probably originally written:

श्री Joffe अपने नाम करने के लिए और की वजह से उसकी कार्यकुशलता और क्षमता विभिन्न उपलब्धियों है, Martindale Hubbell उसे स्थान दिया गया है एक 'ए वी'. नहीं बहुत से वकील इस रैंकिंग प्राप्त करने में सक्षम हैं. इस क्रम में कुछ है कि उनकी विशिष्टता के बारे में बात करती है. अगर आप इरादे वकील अतीत के अनुभव और काम के बारे में अधिक पता करने के लिए, आप अपने कार्यालय से संपर्क करने की आवश्यकता है, और वे जल्दी ही आप अपने अतीत के अनुभव और उपलब्धियों की एक लिखित रिकॉर्ड भेज देंगे.

Wow, that's pretty impressive -- you're hired!