Special Holiday 3d DCA Watch -- Bah Humbug Don't Bother Suing FPL Over Anything Edition

Hi kiddies, so how is your humpday so far? Let's take a gander at what's going on around town, shall we?

The largest bank in Florida, BankUnited, is down $327 million and may be soon out of business.

The $1 billion port tunnel project, designed to relieve downtown congestion and improve port access for trucks delivering cargo to and from the port, is apparently off again.

But don't worry, the Marlins stadium may be delayed but it is still on:

"The delay caused by the frivolous litigation has directly led to this decision," Samson said. "We were put into a position that the risk of opening in 2011 was no longer manageable.

"Opening in 2012 will not impact the project cost at all. The total project cost is still $515 million. The team is still covering every penny of overrun, if any. No matter what the overruns are."

HAHAHAHAHA! Oh Dave Samson, you and your crappy taste in movies really make me laugh! "Every penny"? Where's the money going to come from -- BankUnited?

Anyway, I'm sure you're right -- I can't imagine why anyone would possibly think there could be overruns in a massive publicly-financed South Florida construction project, especially in this economic environment. Full speed ahead on that financially secure venture!

Oh I almost forgot. Yes, our gingerbread-flavored coffee-swilling robed ones have been busy, overseeing the legal elves who toil all week so that every Wednesday wondrous legal opinions are carefully wrapped and tucked snugly down the chimney of a secure website, where they are given out to every good boy and girl lawyer in all of South Florida.

So let's get right to our special holiday edition of 3d DCA Watch:

Extraordinary Title v. FPL:

Like Mel Brooks said, "it's good to be the King."

Here, it's good to be FPL, which cannot be sued for allegedly taking your money under false pretenses, unless the PSC decides it's a good idea. This suit involves the federal corporate taxes that FPL collects from you that don't actually get paid to the government as federal corporate taxes. Instead, they are shipped to parent FPL Group, which manages to avoid paying these taxes because the parent has a lot of unprofitable subs so let's just forget we collected them anyways, ok?

Ok, says the 3d:

In the instant case, as in Albert Litter Studios, we must examine the Plaintiff’s second amended complaint to determine “the nature of the relief sought.” A review of the complaint indicates that, although it prays for “an award of actual damages,” in reality the Plaintiff is seeking a refund of a portion of the rate charged and collected by FPL. In fact, paragraph 32 of the second amended complaint alleges, in part, that “tax monies initially derived from the bill payments
made to [FPL] by said account customers should be refunded to said account customers.” (emphasis added). Therefore, as in Albert Litter Studios, we conclude that, pursuant to section 366.04(1), the Commission has exclusive jurisdiction over the Plaintiff’s claim against FPL, and therefore the trial court properly dismissed Count I of the second amended complaint with prejudice.

Now technically it is theoretically possible that the PSC will suddenly wake up and look into this issue, and maybe even force FPL into giving some of this (non)tax money back.

HAHAHAHA -- now I sound like Dave Samson.

Congrats to Alvin Davis for not only rocking that holiday vest/shirt combo but also for winning yet another one for FPL.