"Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job"

That's the headline this morning from The Onion, which goes on to report:

As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break."

You all know where to go to get political blather up the yazoo on the tubes this morning, so I won't pile on just yet. I'm more interested in your election day war stories -- here's Gerry Richman, saving the world one vote at a time:

Richman’s mission was to ensure every eligible voter who wanted to vote for Obama would get the chance to do so — and no mechanical problems, access issues or poll worker confusion about Election Day procedures in the heavily Democratic county would stand in the way in a pivotal swing state.

Hey, I was helping too! Why is my photo not in the DBR?

Anyways, here's what I was doing -- first I joined Norm Moscowitz and together we let the air out of the tires on Frank Cosmen's Harley down at precinct 518, the Church of God of Prophecy #1 (seriously, that is the real name of that voting precinct).

That was a lot of fun, even if I'm not sure how much that helped the election process.

Later me and Ira Kurzban worked over Paul Huck, Jr. down at precinct 514, Miami Edison Middle School.

I won't bore you with all the sordid details, except that at one point Ira held gentle Paul's arms down while I whipped out my mandolin and serenaded the crowd with a rousing rendition of San Franciscan Nights. It was that kind of day.

I'm kidding, of course. Actually, Ira and I did a fairly faithful a cappella version of Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. Call me crazy, but I still believe -- in the right setting -- that song can work.

Seriously, I do want to thank all the lawyers from all sides who assisted and gave of themselves all day yesterday to help make this country a better place, regardless of the outcome. America thanks you for giving your skills and talents to improving the democratic process.