3d DCA Watch -- The One Where Judge Rothenberg Reveals The Secret to Prevailing on Summary Judgment in State Court

Shhh, don't tell anyone about this week's edition of 3d DCA Watch, because this is the one where you can learn -- finally -- how to win on summary judgment in state court. Yes, all you ham-and-eggers on Flagler Street, now you can WIN WIN WIN beyond your wildest gin-soaked dreams! And you big-firmers can even bill some CLE time today by reading our crappy little blog. (Go ahead, give yourself 7 hours -- no one counts that time anyway).

Ok, then, let's get into the nitty-gritty. It's somewhat technical, but luckily all you have to do is follow the steps laid out brilliantly by Judge Rothenberg in this opinion that I quote verbatim and in its entirety:

The plaintiff filed an amended complaint, seeking damages for the non-payment of goods referenced in four specific invoices. The defendants filed a motion for summary judgment, attaching, among other things, credit memos issued by the plaintiff and the deposition of the plaintiff’s president, Jorge Bergara. The trial court granted the defendants’ motion, and thereafter entered final summary judgment in favor of the defendants.

Viewing the record on appeal as we must, in the light most favorable to the plaintiff as the non-moving party, we affirm the trial court’s order entering final summary judgment as the defendants have conclusively demonstrated that no genuine issue of material fact exists and that they are entitled to judgment as a matter of law. See Volusia County v. Aberdeen at Ormond Beach, L.P., 760 So. 2d 126, 130 (Fla. 2000); Rodriguez v. City of Key West, 981 So. 2d 664, 665 (Fla. 3d DCA 2008).

Everyone got that? Let's recap -- apparently you can prevail on summary judgment if "no genuine issue of material fact exists" and you are "entitled to judgment as a matter of law." Astonishing!

Seriously, can someone tell me what the hail the justiciable issue was in this appeal? Just askin'.