"I Don't Want a Piece of You, I Want the Whole Thing!"

How about that? Scott Sheftall channels his inner Happy Gilmore:

Scott Sheftall calls himself the ''ultimate Cinderella story'' at this week's U.S. Senior Open.

A decent college golfer, Sheftall's best golf moments since then have come while on hand to see best friend Mark McCumber win two Doral titles and the 1988 Players Championship. He counts Fuzzy Zoeller as a client.

Now, though, the Miami attorney's own swing goes on display.

''This time, I'll get a little taste of it myself,'' said Sheftall, who tees it up Thursday alongside the likes of Zoeller, Tom Watson, Hale Irwin and Bernhard Langer at The Broadmoor in Colorado.

At 57, Sheftall is 10th-oldest among the 30 amateurs in the field. Only one, Dallas' Charles Palmer, is older among those making their Senior Open debuts.

''I figured at some time I might be able to put it all together,'' Sheftall said before he left for Colorado. ``Somehow, it all happened for me.''

Three decades ago, Sheftall helped Davidson College place second at the 1973 Southern Conference tournament. Eventually, he stopped playing competitively to focus on his law career. It wasn't until two years ago that he started entering tournaments again.

He earned his way to The Broadmoor by fighting off severe leg cramps to get into a three-man playoff for the last of two spots from a June 27 qualifier at Delray Dunes Golf Club. A birdie on the third extra hole punched his ticket.

''I don't know how I got through it,'' Sheftall said. ``I tried to be conscientious and drink a lot of Gatorade and eat a lot of bananas, but I still had [cramping] very bad.''

The pain got so intense that at one point, Sheftall was ready to lie down in the fairway between shots. It was then that his wife, Regina, reminded him of Tiger Woods' U.S. Open triumph on a bum leg two weeks earlier.

''If Tiger [Woods] can do it,'' she told him, ``you can do it.''

''It was a slap of reality,'' Sheftall recalled.

Scott's always been involved in charity golfing events, but who knew? Send the ball home, Scotty!